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New Here....Found this Forum for My Boyfriend !

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Frankie, Nov 4, 2007.

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  1. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

    Hello, I am new here, yesterday I was surfing the net for more info on PTSD and found this forum and I am so glad I did.

    My boyfriend of 1 year has PTSD. He was part of the United Nations during the Rwanda genocide and after many years of progressive anger, sleepless nights, nightmares..etc...he went to see a doctor and they saw it was PTSD.

    Finally, some help !! For the past 3 years he is seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist. After reading so many of your different posts, I am realizing that the sympoms are so much the same as what he is going through right now ! He is getting better and of course there are bad days ! He is getting better because of the medicine (so many) and he is learning how to handle all the negative thoughts and anger he still has.

    Having said all this, he is the sweetest, most loving, giving, caring, funny man I have ever met. And I am so proud of him for having come a very long way !

    And yet, yes, I have seen some "anger" but he is doing so much to get better and I see the difference In him ! Mot importantly, he wants to get better !

    Sometimes it is frustrating for me..I want so much for him to be less fragile, less weak, less emotional...but I have to constantly tell myself that what he is going through is because of the PTSD...I am sure and I know it is frustrating for him too !!

    All I can do is be there for him and love him ! He says my love and understanding and patience is helping him a lot ! And I am grateful for that cause sometimes I worry about what he could do to himself ! Even though he tells me that he never considered suicide ! I still worry !

    Sometimes, I do see him very very down, and I tell him to TALK to me, I want him to share his burden with me, cause by talking it out, it lessens the burden !

    He does talk to me about his feelings, what he went through and what he saw in Rwanda, he describes me his nightmares, but he also is afraid and worried that I will feel upset and get down as he is. He wants to protect me (that is type of man he is) :smile: I keep on telling him, that as much as I am upset about what I hear, it can never affect me as it has affected him ! So he talks and I listen and hopefully that will lessen the burden ! We are sharing lots of laughter but also lots of tears !

    I love him very much and I want to help him in any way I can !

    Having found this forum will be of great help !

    p.s. You should all be proud of yourself, for having come a long way ! God Bless !
    skye likes this.
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    Welcome to the forum Frankie!

    We have a great carer's section that would interest you. It's very nice to hear such positive and hopeful comments!

  4. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    Welcome Frankie, lovely to have you! My brother-in-law was also in Rwanda during the genocide and had PTSD as a result. As Bec said it is most refreshing to hear positive and hopeful comments. I am delighted you care so deeply for your man, that is no doubt a great blessing and help for him already. Do please visit the Carers section also as Bec suggests. I am a Carer myself, and I look forward to chatting with you more.
  5. rt1967

    rt1967 Active Member

    I think its lovely you are being supportive to your boyfriend.
  6. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

    Thank-you for your kind words ! It is sad what our men had to go through and still are going through ! And let's not forget the women too !

    Being hopeful and positive and supportive is the only way to go ! Having a sense of humour too, helps tremendously...Being there for the ups and downs and knowing that it is not their fault they act the way they do, helps !

    I am not like some of the carers here in that I didn't know him at his "worst" it would have been so much harder...but I would like to believe that I would still have felt the same way as I do now, as I tell him so often "I am with you for the duration"

    I am looking forward to the day when he will have less medication to take and he will feel much better about himself.....till then, I will continue loving and helping him ! I am learning a lot about PTSD but I know there is more I will have to learn ! As I continue to educate myself, I will be in a better position to help him ! There is light at the end of the tunnel !

    Looking forward to chatting with all of you !
  7. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

    :hello: Hello Frankie, and Welcome to the forum.

    Sounds very good that you found this forum and I think you'll really find a lot of useful educ. and support throughout. ......

    ......And, so much more in the carer's sections as well. ......... Lots to read, lots to learn and apply, lots of great support here.

  8. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi Frankie, welcome to the forum.
  9. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

    You are all so kind, so much encouragement and support ! Thank-you !!

    I AM very glad I found this site, so much helpful information !
  10. vera

    vera Active Member

    hi! welcome =)
  11. nyc

    nyc Member

    I'm so pleased to hear some positive news. I've been feeling quite hopeless about my relationship and it's inspiring to know and have reinforced that patience and understanding is what I need to focus on. Good luck to you:)
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