Sufferer New here would like to hear what others think

JustAguy13

New Here
I'm not military and don't want to take anything away or compare myself with military related PTSD sufferers. To tell the truth I can't believe where I am at. I was diagnosed PTSD in 21 due to narcissistic abuse by a very powerful person at my place of employment. My Doctors feel he has narcissistic personality disorder. The abuse started in 2020, I sucked it up, toughed it out for 2.5 years and finally that chapter was closed. The problem is once the abuse was finally cut off I began to see the toll it had taken on my family I couldn't see it before, I felt like I was just hanging by a thread, but before I could take action on that my spouse, son and daughter in law rejected me and don't believe in PTSD, I can't see my grandkids. I have tried to educate but say they just don't want to hear it. I drank heavily at night to quell the fight or flight, intrusive thoughts, and hyper vigilance just to go to sleep. I want to make amends but they are focused on the person I was under the influence of full on PTSD. When I was young I felt much like they did about anxiety and PTSD, oh the irony. My priority has always been my spouse and family, that is why I fought for 2.5 years, we needed the income and the insurance. I feel like the reward I got for fighting the good fight was another punch in the gut, never can remember being this low. I feel guilty for thinking it but have begun to wonder if the only reasonable way forward for me is to move on and re-prioritize, I don't know. Sorry to be such a downer but any positive input would be nice.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
hello guy. welcome to the forum.

how 'bout some reassurance from an army vet that you are not taking anything away from the combat ptsd sufferers with your diagnosis and healing efforts. my ptsd is not combat related, but i have received the bulk of my psychotherapy through military channels. as one of my fellow vets put it, "a gunshot is a gunshot, whether the shot is fired in your bedroom or on a battlefield."

it's okay to "be such a downer" here. an honest assessment of the sore spots makes it easier to cleanse the wounds as you move toward fuller, more honest appreciation the good stuff. honesty encouraged.
 

JustAguy13

New Here
I appreciate you post, the last thing I want to do is take anything away from our service men and women. My real problem right now is if I could rely on support I think I could whip this but without it, it is just trigger after trigger, but then I feel guilty. My instincts are telling me I may have to cut ties change priorities and hope someday understanding will come and there can be some resolution at least with my kids. I can't believe I'm even typing this. I have whipped cancer before and have always been the tough resilient type, this is insidious and the subconscious does it's own thing, It sure dispels the illusion of control.
 

Friday

Moderator
Welcome to the community!

I was diagnosed PTSD in 21 due to narcissistic abuse by a very powerful person at my place of employment
I’m sorry, but I have no idea what this means?

Clearly, if you were diagnosed with PTSD, it means you experienced, were party to, or witnessed some kind of sexual assault(s), serious physical injury/injuries, or actual/or threatened death(s); IE was of an exceptionally threatening or catastrophic nature, which is likely to cause pervasive distress in almost anyone.

But your boss’s mental health status (whatever collection of diagnoses or symptoms or personality features they have) doesn’t actually shed any light on what you yourself were witness, party to, or survived.

Narcissistic abuse, sociopathic abuse, nihilist abuse, sadistic abuse, delusional abuse, paranoid abuse, etc. simply speaks to the abuser’s personality, their motivation, & what they got out of those acts …. Not to the acts themselves that those in their orbit are dealing with.

If you’re being deliberately vague and obscure? That’s perfectly fine. There’s no requirement to speak to one’s trauma history, here. I simply bring it up first off as you did, and secondly on the chance you think you’re doing the opposite… and believe you’re shedding light on your trauma history, by sharing the personality of your boss… especially as PTSD is notorious for forming connections that don’t exist / aren’t obvious to anyone except the person themselves.
 

JustAguy13

New Here
Welcome to the community!


I’m sorry, but I have no idea what this means?

Clearly, if you were diagnosed with PTSD, it means you experienced, were party to, or witnessed some kind of sexual assault(s), serious physical injury/injuries, or actual/or threatened death(s); IE was of an exceptionally threatening or catastrophic nature, which is likely to cause pervasive distress in almost anyone.

But your boss’s mental health status (whatever collection of diagnoses or symptoms or personality features they have) doesn’t actually shed any light on what you yourself were witness, party to, or survived.

Narcissistic abuse, sociopathic abuse, nihilist abuse, sadistic abuse, delusional abuse, paranoid abuse, etc. simply speaks to the abuser’s personality, their motivation, & what they got out of those acts …. Not to the acts themselves that those in their orbit are dealing with.

If you’re being deliberately vague and obscure? That’s perfectly fine. There’s no requirement to speak to one’s trauma history, here. I simply bring it up on the chance you think you’re doing the opposite… and believe you’re shedding light on your trauma history, by sharing the personality of your boss… especially as PTSD is notorious for forming connections that don’t exist / aren’t obvious to anyone except the person themselves.
I having a hard time with your post, when diagnosed I didn't get it or want to believe it either, what I discovered is PTSD is not as clear cut as what you typed. What I discovered in my research is victims of narssisstic abuse often develop PTSD as a result, it need not be what one might consider a traumatic event, either singly or multiple. What happened was I have always had stellar reviews from my board, he forced his way onto the board and proceeded to try to take me out by every means you can imagine. Galighting, lying, making false accusations up, breaking chain of command, grooming employees, undermining, just about anything you can imagine he tried it. I had to constantly defend and document which I did, and every time he was exposed it just got worse, he went more underground. It was unreal, like something you would see in a movie.
 

Friday

Moderator
what I discovered is PTSD is not as clear cut as what you typed.
it need not be what one might consider a traumatic event, either singly or multiple.

What I typed was actually the diagnostic criteria of both the DSM (used in the US, and a few other places) & the ICD (used in the rest of the world).

So someone in your care team has done you a tremendous disservice.

NONE of the symptoms of PTSD are unique, they all exist in other disorders & conditions. What uniquely points to PTSD (or Acute Stress Disorder) is/are the traumatic event(s) that precede it.

That doesn’t mean that you categorically do not have PTSD… you could easily have pre-existing PTSD from earlier trauma that the stress of hostile board politics, and/or losing your family due to alcohol abuse, activated. PTSD is a lifelong condition. Any new trauma, increased stress/major life stressors, &/or loss of coping mechanisms can -and often does- kick start someone into being partially to fully symptomatic. It’s a cyclical & highly reactive disorder.

The disservice done to you is sending you chasing down rabbit holes; either by flat out misdiagnosis, or by leading you to believe that these events are what you should be focused on in order to get yourself wellest/soonest & back in fighting trim, rather than your actual trauma history.

I’m absolutely furious on your behalf, whether this was done intentionally in order to cripple you & your recovery, or by slipshod halfassery.

Clearly, no one here can even begin to diagnose you (just like nearly every parent would know that if you have every symptom of pregnancy, but there’s no bun in the oven? You’re not pregnant!… doesn’t mean they can even begin to know whether you have a metabolitic, neurological, hormonal disorder, or certain cancers, infections, toxic exposure to XYZ, or ABC, or 123, effecting this, that, or the other systems….Etc.). Knowing what something isn’t? Isn’t even in the same universe as knowing what something is. So I cannot more strongly suggest that you seek out a 2nd opinion, ASAP. You’ve been done wrong by enough already.
 

JustAguy13

New Here
Two different doctors made the same diagnosis.

See what you make of this:
 

JustAguy13

New Here
Years ago two men in political battle with my boss went after me to get at my boss (if they went after him it would have been retaliation, he reported them to their agancy administration), it took two years and a federal investigation, at the end of it they told me whatever I wanted would be done, two full on panic attacks during that.

My concern is what you both are saying is basically what a google search yields, if you look into the scholarly research it need not be physical in nature to cause or constitute PTSD, I went through the same thought process when I was diagnosed and did the research thinking the same thing you both are saying. The threat or assault in both cases was to my career/livelyhood/well being.

Believe me I would prefer not to have it, or any of the symptoms.
 
Believe me I would prefer not to have it, or any of the symptoms.
It's quite evident that, while you have the symptoms, you don't have PTSD.

Not all diagnosticians are created equal. Some are poor at their jobs. The ones you saw, and the person who wrote the article you linked to, don't seem to follow the DSM or ICD. Believe us, they are in the vast minority of diagnosticians. And as Friday stated, they have done you a grave disservice. They've also done us a disservice in attempting to water down a pretty clear cut diagnosis.

Sure, some folks think victims of "narcissistic abuse" can get PTSD from that. There are also people who think that PTSD can be caused solely by infidelity or harsh (but not threatening) words. They're wrong too.

Edit: I'm not even sure that article is saying you can get PTSD from narcissistic abuse, just PTSD symptoms.
 
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JustAguy13

New Here
I appreciate where you are coming from but this does not seem ambiguous. What we have here is disagreement between authoritative sources, i.e. experts/academics/researchers/practicing professionals. This often happens as understanding evolves, and it is not about right or wrong, doctors disagree all the time though neither are wrong. Both of the doctors I have seen are certified practicing professionals, one male, one female, so there is no gender bias. No disrespect to anyone here but the last thing I need is confusion or doubt right now, the course of treatment prescribed is working/helping. Respectfully I came here looking for support and some common understanding, what I have experienced comes across as lectures, judgment, and rejection. For now I am going to follow the diagnosis/treatment of the professionals I have seen and know my entire case, and, would greatly appreciate any discussion/support/suggestions along those lines.

Whether it be an employer, family member, a friend, clergy, a healthcare professional or a romantic interest, the relational dynamics with a malignant narcissist are destabilizing and debilitating irrespective of how constitutionally strong one is and how balanced and nurturing one’s upbringing was. As Dr. Patrick Carnes wrote in The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, “What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough, and the terror big enough, your bodily systems shift to an alarm state. You never feel safe. You’re always on full-alert, just waiting for the hurt to begin again.”
Indeed the machinations of narcissistic abuse are designed to heighten sympathetic arousal, causing the victim to experience responses of fight, flight, freeze and fawning. These responses are the hallmark of PTSD, and as long as there is what Carnes refers to as a betrayal bond, anyone is susceptible.
 
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