Relationship New here. Would love some advice

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Deleted member 50384

Hi There,

New to this. Feeling overwhelmed.

So I met my now ex partner 6 years ago. At the time he was an asylum seeker being detained by the government in a detention centre and I worked there. We reconnected last year after I learnt that he was still detained, but now a recognised refugee. No crimes committed just a very cruel policy in my country re asylum seekers/refugees.

After fleeing war and persecution in his home land and being detained indefinitely it is understandable his mental health has deteriorated significantly. He has CPTSD and MDD.

Love was not meant to be part of us connecting. I really just wanted to be a support to him. But our feelings grew.

He maintained our connection very well to begin with. Unfortunately he was moved to another detention centre and has declined rapidly.

He picks fights, cuts me off, post cryptic messages on his Facebook story in poem and song about me (not so nice things) as though he is trying to bait me into an argument but when I try and talk about it he pretends its nothing and gets angry when I ask and then cuts me off. He attacks my character when he is overwhelmed and blames things on me.

He pushes and pulls and then loves me fiercely and then out of nowhere has just ended our relationship.

His situation is unique and I understand he cannot begin to resolve his trauma until he is away from the environment he is in. He is a beautiful soul and faced such horror in his life. I cannot even imagine his pain.

I am so heartbroken for his situation and for how things have ended. I know he is so so alone. I want to respect his wishes as I know he is fighting for his survival and he is pushing me away to protect both himself and I.

Its painful for him to talk about his pain, and I have tried very gently to try and understand his triggers, but I feel like I always do the wrong thing

How do I provide support, if any?
 
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