BeverageDude
New Here
Hey guys. A year ago today I took a hit of a laced joint. I was at a bar drinking with my sister when she stepped out. I went outside to smoke a cigarette and a stranger offered me a hit of his joint. I took him up on it and Hell broke loose.
I ended up with law enforcement. They thought I was severely intoxicated. I don’t really remember that. I picked up a copy of the internal report they made yesterday and read it. They said I was extremely aggressive. I was hallucinating officers I had met before that weren’t there.
I don’t remember the next week. Five days later I woke up thinking it was still the day after. I walked out into my families field and had visual hallucinations. I had a lucid moment when I realized what I was seeing couldn’t have been real. I called my mom and had her take me to the emergency room.
I was in the ER for 8 hours. They performed a CT scan which found nothing. My UA came back negative for everything but marijuana. I was hallucinating while I was in the hospital.
My family put me on suicide watch at home for the next few weeks. I don’t remember a lot. Then after a few weeks I woke up and it’s like my memories started recording again.
It took months but I I started to have vivid memories from a few days leading up to the drugging or the few days after. I have vivid memories of things that couldn’t have happened. Things law enforcement denies happened.
I’ll remember things and I won’t be OK. I’ll have to take zzzquil or use another method to stay asleep. Sometimes when I wake up I’m OK. These bouts last for a few weeks at a time where I don’t feel safe or OK. Then I wake up and I’m fine again. It didn’t happen.
I have a lot of nightmares now. Before a few weeks ago I could go to sleep and I wouldn’t dream most of the time. Now I’m having vivid dreams that aren’t necessarily nightmares but I don’t feel safe.
This is impacting my job. I make good money doing something I enjoy but I’m not physically able to do it lately. That adds on to the stress.
I spend a lot of time reexperiencing the vivid memories that didn’t happen. I don’t know if it’s because were at the one year mark, the day, time of month. I know I’ve been drinking more than I normally do lately. I think that’s a trigger.
I’ve identified some other triggers that send me into a melting state. Capri sun, NyQuil, marijuana, spending too much time alone.
I’m in a new city for my job and don’t know anyone really well up here. I picked up a roommate but he spends most of his time in his room playing video games when he’s not at work.
I can’t get into see a counselor anytime soon. No one is available. One place had an open appointment in December but I would be out of town for work.
I’ve talked to a couple doctors who tried putting me in lexapro. That didn’t go well. They’ve given me a referral for ptsd.
I’m just really struggling with how I could have such vivid memories that didn’t happen. I don’t have any memory issues outside of the event. I don’t have hallucinations.
I’m just struggling I guess. I’ve tried talking to friends. It can be difficult to word things properly. My recollection isn’t great. I forget and remember things surrounding it. When I talk about it there isn’t a complete timeline. It’s jumbled.
So now I’m here looking for help. Reading about this stuff.
I ended up with law enforcement. They thought I was severely intoxicated. I don’t really remember that. I picked up a copy of the internal report they made yesterday and read it. They said I was extremely aggressive. I was hallucinating officers I had met before that weren’t there.
I don’t remember the next week. Five days later I woke up thinking it was still the day after. I walked out into my families field and had visual hallucinations. I had a lucid moment when I realized what I was seeing couldn’t have been real. I called my mom and had her take me to the emergency room.
I was in the ER for 8 hours. They performed a CT scan which found nothing. My UA came back negative for everything but marijuana. I was hallucinating while I was in the hospital.
My family put me on suicide watch at home for the next few weeks. I don’t remember a lot. Then after a few weeks I woke up and it’s like my memories started recording again.
It took months but I I started to have vivid memories from a few days leading up to the drugging or the few days after. I have vivid memories of things that couldn’t have happened. Things law enforcement denies happened.
I’ll remember things and I won’t be OK. I’ll have to take zzzquil or use another method to stay asleep. Sometimes when I wake up I’m OK. These bouts last for a few weeks at a time where I don’t feel safe or OK. Then I wake up and I’m fine again. It didn’t happen.
I have a lot of nightmares now. Before a few weeks ago I could go to sleep and I wouldn’t dream most of the time. Now I’m having vivid dreams that aren’t necessarily nightmares but I don’t feel safe.
This is impacting my job. I make good money doing something I enjoy but I’m not physically able to do it lately. That adds on to the stress.
I spend a lot of time reexperiencing the vivid memories that didn’t happen. I don’t know if it’s because were at the one year mark, the day, time of month. I know I’ve been drinking more than I normally do lately. I think that’s a trigger.
I’ve identified some other triggers that send me into a melting state. Capri sun, NyQuil, marijuana, spending too much time alone.
I’m in a new city for my job and don’t know anyone really well up here. I picked up a roommate but he spends most of his time in his room playing video games when he’s not at work.
I can’t get into see a counselor anytime soon. No one is available. One place had an open appointment in December but I would be out of town for work.
I’ve talked to a couple doctors who tried putting me in lexapro. That didn’t go well. They’ve given me a referral for ptsd.
I’m just really struggling with how I could have such vivid memories that didn’t happen. I don’t have any memory issues outside of the event. I don’t have hallucinations.
I’m just struggling I guess. I’ve tried talking to friends. It can be difficult to word things properly. My recollection isn’t great. I forget and remember things surrounding it. When I talk about it there isn’t a complete timeline. It’s jumbled.
So now I’m here looking for help. Reading about this stuff.