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New Person Trying To Help Myself

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by kkoehler, Jul 26, 2007.

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  1. kkoehler

    kkoehler New Member

    I used to be able to help others. The last person I helped had PTSD and due to the trauma of helping him, I now have it. I am approaching my wits end and have always been the optimist until now. I am trying to hope joining you all here will help me in some way and at the same time because I am predisposed to helping others (part of my personality) I do so hope that I may be of help to others. I am skeptical about either being so aware of my current state and attitude which by the way sucks. I am the first to admit that my attitude is my responsibility and so in a way I am here for the sake of my attitude, even mental health and because things are connected, my physiological health. They are all taking a toll. My PSTD is holding me back in life and deteriorating my relationship. I have anger, depression, nightmares, slight paranoia, social insecurities and eating disorder tendancies. I shouldn't. I should be a productive, responsible young woman in her early thirties. I am finding the PTSD robbing me of my life. I want to get control over this. Sometimes I find myself thinking I'd rather die than continue to suffer with this. It has changed me in some ways and I miss my old capable self. Its heart breaking. I want to learn more about PTSD and how it impacts others and what can be done to resolve it. Is there a cure? How does a person get past the past and move on with life because like many others with PTSD, I know its very much wanted. I could say so much with this introduction but it would be very long. Perhaps I will start a journal here explaining my story. That would be more polite and coincide with the rules. I want to first start with telling you all thank you for being here despite it being for less than desired reasons. I have more or less become a shut in at home and withdrawn from the world in general. There's a little faith left in me that somehow I can get past this. I hope I find others here who have healed as I am sure several people want to. They want to feel alive while breathing and their hearts beating. I know I will read about disassociation here which is also something else I'm experiencing as for the first time in my life I am alcoholic. I don't want to be and won't deny that I am. Thank you again.
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  3. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    Kkoehler, I relate to so much of what you say. Welcome. There's a lot of information here and many caring people.
  4. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Welcome K,

    It's a long hard battle to win yourself back. But it can be done with a lot of hard work. Don't give up on yourself..

  5. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi Koehler, welcome the forum.
  6. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

    Hi Kkoehler

    Hold onto your faith :smile: and I hope you can find what you are looking for from here.
  7. kkoehler

    kkoehler New Member

    Thank you everyone.
  8. wildfirewildone

    wildfirewildone Well-Known Member

    :clap:Believe it or not....You are a survivor!!! I'm really glad:smile:that you found this site....I've been here a year and have learned a lot...Hope you find what you need:clap:...PEACE TO THE PLANET
  9. skyward_falls

    skyward_falls Member

    I think its a great achievement to recognize what you are experiencing and being able to identify what it is. I don't know how long you've dealt with PTSD but I ran around "like a chicken with my head cut off" for a while before I had a name for what I was experiencing. You can only go up from here - even if it doesn't always seem like it.

    I am new to the forum too, so I'll look forward to learning along with you. :smile:
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