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Hello everyone,

So there's been an ongoing saga I've been posting about on this site regarding my emotionally abusive wife, and everyone has been very supportive.

Last week at my son's 18 month check up, some questions were raised about his communication skills not developing the way they should. My stepdaughter (son's half sister) is pretty low functioning on the autistic spectrum. Now My son's primary care office wants to have him evaluated for Early Intervention services, which I am all for, as soon as possible.

Ever since the appointment my wife has completely shut down. We barely get to speak as it is cause of our work schedules. We both have this weekend off, and she has been going between telling me I hate her cause of her "crappy genetics", and telling me every little thing I'm doing wrong with everything. Worst of all for me is that our son hasn't even been evaluated yet and she seems sure that he's going to have autism, and it's going to be just the same as my stepdaughter who has some aggressive tendencies. My wife had been doing better receiving support from some new sources but since the appointment it's all back to gaslighting, and just telling me I'm doing everything wrong, and telling me I hate her and blame her for my stepdaughter and possibly son having autism. It always seemed like everything I do was under a microscope with her, but now it seems like everything my son does is under a microscope too. I don't know if I can parent the way I want to if she's always going to be looking for there to be problems with me and our son. I don't know, I think I'm rambling now. I want to leave, and I think I'm getting closer and closer to just doing it. Any way, thank y'all
 
Hello everyone,

So there's been an ongoing saga I've been posting about on this site regarding my emotionally abusive wife, and everyone has been very supportive.

Last week at my son's 18 month check up, some questions were raised about his communication skills not developing the way they should. My stepdaughter (son's half sister) is pretty low functioning on the autistic spectrum. Now My son's primary care office wants to have him evaluated for Early Intervention services, which I am all for, as soon as possible.

Ever since the appointment my wife has completely shut down. We barely get to speak as it is cause of our work schedules. We both have this weekend off, and she has been going between telling me I hate her cause of her "crappy genetics", and telling me every little thing I'm doing wrong with everything. Worst of all for me is that our son hasn't even been evaluated yet and she seems sure that he's going to have autism, and it's going to be just the same as my stepdaughter who has some aggressive tendencies. My wife had been doing better receiving support from some new sources but since the appointment it's all back to gaslighting, and just telling me I'm doing everything wrong, and telling me I hate her and blame her for my stepdaughter and possibly son having autism. It always seemed like everything I do was under a microscope with her, but now it seems like everything my son does is under a microscope too. I don't know if I can parent the way I want to if she's always going to be looking for there to be problems with me and our son. I don't know, I think I'm rambling now. I want to leave, and I think I'm getting closer and closer to just doing it. Any way, thank y'all
I'm so sorry you're having a crap weekend. We are here, if you need us. I'm a sufferer but I'm medicated and don't act that bad anymore. I don't know if she is or not, and that's not the point.. It's Labor Day and your weekend is suppose to be better. Really, I agree with you. It's too sudden to be calling a what or who at this point. I don't know what else to say other than I'm here and listening.
 
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We both have this weekend off, and she has been going between telling me I hate her cause of her "crappy genetics", and telling me every little thing I'm doing wrong with everything.

Projection (the crappy genetics) and fear/frustration. The "under the microscope thing" is a maladaptive coping method used to shift away from the real issues that are disturbing. Been there done that, both as a victim with my partner and as a perpetrator. It's a really bad relational habit to use.
 
I definitely agree with the projection. And that it's too soon to be calling anything difinitively . I also agree that it will be easier to focus on, and help my son if I leave. Thanks for the support everyone.
 
Thank you! :happy: I hope it all goes well with u. Make sure leaving is the right thing. The courts will see you as abandoning ( I think.. Look in to it -- every state is different) verses staying there and filing for divorce. Can you stay at a buddies house at night? For awhile?
 
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:wtf: My ex was a right proper bastard whenever he felt guilty about anything, too. The worse he felt the worse he treated everyone around him.

Its like there’s some kind of broken connection in the brain... I feel bad + (shhhh we’re ignoring this piece) + you = it’s your fault I feel bad = I must make you at least hurt as bad as I hurt (More! I’ll make you hurt more! This is YOUR fault!!! :mad: ) INSTEAD of I feel bad + (because I hurt) you = I should apologise &/or be extra nice to you to make up for it.

f*cking crazy making.
 
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I know in a divorce situation my wife would want to stay out of court cause of a bad experience on court with her first divorce. Her ex was almost any kind of abusive you could think of. Still most of my family and friends live in a different state. Not that far away but still in a different state. I'd wanna stay close but I'd have to swing it financially.
 
I know in a divorce situation my wife would want to stay out of court cause of a bad experience on court with her first divorce. Her ex was almost any kind of abusive you could think of. Still most of my family and friends live in a different state. Not that far away but still in a different state. I'd wanna stay close but I'd have to swing it financially.
I was just saying that because a friend of mine got divorced and left her property and her husband was managing house. So in court she said they see her as abandoning their property... I barely know what she said really.. But it varies from state to state. Good luck with the divorce. Let us know how it is going from time to time or if you're getting closer!
 
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