New school year


Today was my first day back for fall in college. I have all new professors this year. My eye has been twitching for four days from stress. I've had so many breakdowns and panic attacks and I just... I'm so tired of being like this. I genuinely think everything would just be better if I was dead. I'm so sick of everything all the time and I don't know why I keep going through it every day. It's just a never-ending cycle. I have to smile and be friendly and laugh when I'm around people but I'm so f*cking sick of people and I'm so overstimulated all the f*cking time. If I act even remotely off everyone is hounding me trying to ask me what's wrong and I don't have an answer how do I say I just want to f*cking die but nothing's wrong? Nothing has happened and yet I don't want to be alive at all. I'm so f*cking sick of this cycle. I'm so sick of having to be on around everyone all the time. I hate it.