New systems at work involves a lot of writing

Madwomeninabox

Confident
I'm honestly really struggling at work right now because we have this new system and we have to write everything down. we have to write notes to each other, and write down everything we clean, and write down what other people should do.

I was molested by a kid at school he was in 6th grade and I was in 1st. he was my reading buddy. That means his class came to mine and your reading buddy was supposed to read to you. Makes sense it helps everyone learn. But my buddy did things he shouldn't.

so I never really got that base in reading and writing because most of that time I should have been learning in first grade I was with him.

work is making me feel like I want to cry every day. I feel so stupid. I can do ok on things like this because I can use Google to spell things, And I can use talk to text, And you don't see my hand writeing which is really bad.

sometimes my life makes everything so difficult and I'm sick of it. I deserved to have a safe childhood but I never get that and I will always be behind. I really need to get a new job I'm so frustrated here. My boss already makes fun of my hand writeing it's only going to get worse now. This environment is becoming more and more triggering. My boss is so overwhelmed and she is taking it out on everyone.

I have a few people I work with I really like and enjoy spending time with. I'm just completely overwhelmed.
And feeling a little helpless. I don't really know how to improve my ability to write. I find writing triggering so I don't like to practice but I probably should. Just struggling to find any motivation to do so. I kinda have bigger problems going on. Life is a lot at the moment.
 

Sideways

Moderator
I'm not sure about where you live in the world, but here in Australia we have the Reading & Writing Hotline (which is here) which offers courses (free &/or super cheap) in reading, writing and maths skills. Public and private technical and universities offer their own courses. There's online options. And community groups usually have cheap (but practical) options as well.

Me personally? I missed several years of school and fell waaay behind several times over in English & Maths in particular. I did private tutoring and community classes to catch up, to the point where I'm tertiary-level competent at both, and became a lawyer!

Reclaiming those skills? Was hands down an investment of time and money that has paid off many times over. It was hard work. It did require a time commitment.

But no one's gonna make me feel like I can't stand reasonable ground ever again. And that? Is priceless. No one else did it for me. That was my win. And always will be.

There's going to be a whole range of different approaches you can take to manage your work situation (and obviously, dealing with the trigger in therapy might be an option?). But wanted to add my experience in there because it's definitely something I've always been really glad I did.

As for your boss dissing your handwriting, doesn't he know that doctors are famous for having illegible handwriting? So, you're in good company, right?
 

Friday

Moderator
I don't really know how to improve my ability to write.
My son is dysgraphic… which is like dyslexia backwards. <cue giggle>

Reading is fine, writing is NOT. When he tries to write by hand all the letters pile up on top of each other, and/or squiggle out in odd ways, reverse themselves, blend into other letters, and all but do the tango whilst having a seizure, across the page.

A “15 minute” writing assignment (like a work sheet) would take him over 4 hours. Writing a paragraph? Could take him double that time.

It also means he has PHENOM 3D spatial recognition (dysgraphics have better 3D spatial recog than 99.9% of the population), and an innate ability to conceptualise complex maths and equations… because they are not 2D for him, but very nearly living entities. So it’s not “all bad” it’s just that his brain sees the world differently… and the tell for that? An inability to work wih 2 dimensional object WITHOUT some sort of device to creat a bridge between his mind and the 2D field he’s supposed to be working in. <<< I’m telegraphing this punch, here.

Before we got the dysgraphia dx we did all. the. things. that are supposed to help children learn writing. None of them helped. (Although the hand/finger strengthening helped his clinging to the walls like a monkey! OMFG. He would spend hours up a door frame, or “stove piping” the corners in the house. Just chilling out, 6 or 20 feet above the rest of us. But that’s beside the point.) Because it’s me, I made all those interventions fun. Because it’s him, he was totally serious/competitive/determined to master them.

And? None of those interventions helped. Not one bit.

Come to find? The ONLY intervention for dysgraphics is TYPING.

So from 1st grade onward he got to have a tablet in class, and could type out everything he needed to. Yep, we had a few “I know better” teachers who insisted the IEP & 504 were total BS and forced him to write out everything by hand… until 6pm rolled around and they wanted to go home, and he was only on the second line (out of 10), and in tears trying to write faster. And we’d get to have another Come To Jesus meeting with the school & teacher (fastest way, was to have ANY of his other teachers attend, and bring a sample of his work… if someone is willing to break the law, and riskcensure, they’re not going to listen to parents or school administrators, or speech pathologists, or doctors. But they WILL listen to other teachers. >.< After they argue that the well composed paper can’t be KidFriday, KidFriday is clearly a moron and must have plagerised the work… until the other teacher swears, nope. He wrote it in front of me. It really is just like dyslexia, but backwards. He can read fine, but he cannot write. Not because of laziness, or weak hands, or stubbornness, or inability. Let him type out his answers for you, or get them verbally. Just don’t make him write them out. Simple.

^^^
Why the novel?

FIRST OFF… You're not alone. Plenty of very literate people cannot write, for a whole host of reasons. Including things beyond dyslexia/dysgraphia to include like degenerative nerve conditions, or even a broken arm. Whether temporary, permenant, or getting worse over time? You really, really, are not alone. Nor is it a giant flashing sign above your head telling everyone what happened to you.

So SECONDLY you’re not under any kind of obligation to tell your work you were molested, and how that’s affected you. Because there really are a lot of different reasons it could be; dysgraphia just one of the,

MOST IMPORTANTLY? If you’re in the US Dysgraphia is an ADA disability, that warrants accommodations both at school and at work. As are most of the other issues that cause difficulty writing. ((And if you’re outside of the US, cheer, since American standards for help at school/work are some of the worst on the planet.)) Which means that if you need a hand held blue tooth printer to print out stickers (like UPS or Amazon or countless other businesses use)? At the very least they have to allow you to do so, and at best are required to buy it for you and any other employee who cannot write notes with pen & paper to leave for others.

Like this one (which is very similar to the ones we use at our work) >>> https://www.amazon.com/Phomemo-M110...coding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BZ1V21VYW8J1FJHRHQQ6
 
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Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I struggle with writing too. My hand writing is off too. I'm left handed. At school, you get taught how to write as a right handed person. Which is why I think my handwriting is off. I form letters in a different way, and had to figure that out myself. That's how I make sense of it anyway.
I got shamed for it. My family would say I was deliberately misspelling things to get their attention. I would write letters the wrong way. And I still have no idea how words are formed. I only remember how to spell words because of memory rather than understanding.

So, there are many many many people, who struggle with spelling and writing. For a whole host of reasons. For you, it's tied up with abuse so is very powerful.

You are an adult now and you have agency. You're not that little 6 year old who had no way out.
@Sideways suggestion of online working seems a great idea.
Is there a way of feeling confident about your reading and writing abilities? Flip it around somehow?

There is nothing to feel shame about.

A study in the UK showed that the average reading age here in adults is the equivalent of a 10 year old.
 

Madwomeninabox

Confident
Thank you @Sideways @Friday and @Movingforward10

That's so cool that you did that sideways. it's incredible you taught yourself all of that.

Friday I'm 100% going to have to look into Dysgraphia. Because that sounds just like me. I had teacher stay for hours after school was over before Because I had to write a paper. And I failed the assignment and had to do the whole thing over again but the just scheduled it for 2 days. I always write letters wrong like b,d and p I always get mixed up when I write and also capital vs lowercase.
all the letters pile up on top of each other, and/or squiggle out in odd ways, reverse themselves, blend into other letters,
This part blew my mind because that describes my handwriting.

That label maker thing is a great idea though it would make my life way easier. I forget about abominations. I just figure I just need to pull myself up by my boot straps (something that is literally impossible)

Thanks for telling me I'm not alone Movingforward10. Sorry you struggle with this. My uncle is left handed and it's the same with him.

I'm actually doing ok at work. I was just having a really hard time with it that day. More mentally then anything else. I was triggered. I felt a lot better after just typing it out and getting it out of my head. Thanks again for your replies I feel even better.
 
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