New trigger... can't wear 90% of my summer clothes now.

zoey.zzz

New Here
I've become the most triggered I ever have been by clothes. I'm wearing shorts and pants that I have always worn with no issues. I had some issues around certain areas of my body particularly my pants and chest being bare before this. Now being naked is always triggering. My clothes are also so extremely triggering. My shorts are all triggering except bike shorts. Any shorts that aren't just one cut and have any sort of loops or pockets or rolled up cuffs I cannot wear as they rub against my hands. As soon as i feel it I start having a panic attack. The feeling of the bottom of my shorts touching my hands is also terrible so I now have to wear long shorts. Even dresses are triggering me if the touch my hands. I'm finding my self honestly just becoming trigggered by my own touch.

I did my laundry and looked at my laundry today to realize half of the clothes can't be worn. Any thing that is loose and cropped rubs against my arms. It has to be only tight fitted and seam less clothing for me to feel okay, but not too tight or else I'm suffocating. It's awful I literally have to buy an entire new wardrobe or just keep wearing the same few outfits I have been wearing. I'm grateful at least some outfits aren't triggering me, but i'm having daily panic attacks because of my clothing and the level of discomfort I have being alive. I feel so lost and so sad that my life is becoming this consumed by my illness. I have so many dreams and passions and this illness just holds me back from so much because of how horrible my anxiety is every second of the day. I'm literally just crying to the universe to help me because I feel so lost and like I don't know what to do.

I'm also becoming extremely sensitive and triggered by almost every sound. I'm getting to the point wear I have anxiety attacks from people playing music on the beach. I have to sit at the farthest end to get as much quiet as possible and still get irritated by noises of the cars. I have construction going on outside of my house right now that has been triggering me every morning. I go outside to smoke weed at 6 am and can hear it as soon as i go out there so i am immediately triggered by that, then my naked body, then my clothes, and then pretty much any time i'm trying to relax something is still irritating me and I wish I had control over this or say this was all in my head, but it's not. These demons inside of me are so powerful. I'm so lost and alone having to deal with my trauma right now. I don't have a single friend or family member. I'm just working and trying to relax and just want a new life where my mind doesn't feel like a horror movie.

On top of all of this, I have been hearing voices for a year. I had a kundalini awakening that caused a psychotic break and I'm still coming out of it. I don't have insurance or any ability to afford/go to therapy. I'm in the deepest darkest pit and I'm the only person I have to help me right now.
 

Friday

Moderator
First off... welcome to the community!

Nextly
I'm the only person I have to help me right now
On the upside... apart from that always being the very best person possible to have in your corner? Whilst going after the root cause of triggers & stressors is usually done with a therapist... chipping away at / eliminating triggers & stressors is something one usually does on their own.

Have you ever worked on / gone after your triggers & stressors, before?

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ETA... Of course, if you haven’t? You might not know what I’m talking about. In which case the links below would help!




 
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