Newbie Here And To PTSD

[ScubaChick]

Greetings! I am not sure where to start here but I was diagnosed with PTSD two weeks ago after suffering a stroke earlier this year caused by a chiropractic adjustment to my neck that tore my artery and caused me to stroke out. I thought I came out on top with little to no issues other than having to learn to walk again and some nerve damage but I guess I didn’t look or think about the mental problems I did walk out with. I thought I was "stronger" than that having majored in psychology in college but I guess no one is safe when it comes to traumatic expericnes.

I’m currently working on controlling my anger and learning what triggers my anger and getting me back to where I was before I started to withdraw from my friends and normal life. People tell me that they understand what I’m going through and understand my random needs to remove myself from a situation…but I honestly don’t think that they do or ever could REALLY understand. So, I’m hoping that by being here I will learn new ways of coping and have a few shoulders to lean on throughout this journey to get better.:hello:

 

[Lucycat]

Hi ScubaChick and welcome!

That sounds like a very dramatic change to your life. It is interesting that you use the word 'stronger'. I have had to learn that having PTSD is NOT a sign of weakness. I too said 'I thought it could never happen to me'. How wrong I was!

Of course no-one can truly understand your trauma, or the effect that PTSD has. However on here you will find a lot of people who can at least empathise. I don't have a problem with anger - just the reverse- I fail to get angry when I probably should. But we are all different, with some emotions numbed and others on the surface waiting for the trigger. Obviously with your psychology degree you will have more insight than most, but that does not mean you should try and walk the path to healing alone.

Bon Voyage on your journey,
Lucy x

 

[PTSD and Me]

Welcome!

I am even newer to the site than you are, but I guess I have been aware of my PTSD diagnosis for longer. I think you have a great attitude about things consider what you've been through so recently. I spent a long time thinking I was weak-willed or overly sensitive when I would get mad really easily or cry about things that happened a long time ago. It seems to me that you already have a lot of insight in being able to see that people will say they understand, but they may not ever really understand, and that it's really hard to look back and acknowledge that things in the past have an effect on who you are today.

I don't know about other people, but for me I finally just had to realize that the things that happened changed who I am. And the world has never looked the same to me since, and never will again. I would have been a different person if not for those things. That's all true, but irrelevent. I am who I am today, however I got here - broken pieces and all.

I try to just focus on being the best me that I can be. Which means having PTSD, nightmares, anxiety attacks, physical illness due to stress, a short temper, and mistrust of people... yup, all that. And also I'm empathetic to people who are having a rough ride in life, I have a greater sense of who around me might be in distress and I will often reach out to them to let them know someone cares, which seems to make a big difference. I like those things about myself. I've decided since I didn't get a choice anyway, I'll appreciate the good changes, even when it means putting up with the bad ones.

It's not always fun, but I guess these are just the cards I was dealt, so they're all I have to play the game with. I don't know if that's helpful or just nonsense rambling. Thanks for reading. :o)

 

[Lauren]

Welcome ScubaChick ;o) Like LucyCat, I have trouble getting angry andi fact I am having to learn how to allow myself to feel both negative and positive emotions. We all have different traumas and different ways of coping with them. The good thing is that if we are willing to look at ourselves, what causes our feelings and our reactions, we can replace old destructive coping mechanisms with new ones that are more productive.

It's understandable that you would be angry. Your world was turned upside down thru no fault of your own. You will find hope and encouragement here. Don't give up!

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Hi ScubaChick,

Welcome to the forum. I can empathise as sometimes I feel a lot of anger and I find it very distressing because I'm actually a very gentle person. It was actually the main reason I sought help - I was tired of the anger and tired of getting into arguments with people I love, etc. This site will certainly help you to understand what is going on and they really are a great bunch of people if you need a 'vent session'. It's very brave for you to even admit you have a problem with anger so best of luck to you.

Welcome :)