Hey Arwen... sorry, been off sick yesterday... the flu has really laid me and my little fella out. You have some pretty good advice here from a few people... and I think your head is screwed on pretty well, as you already know what needs doing, its just that denial factor that keeps rearing its ugly head. Its ok though, once you get past denial, PTSD is not that bad. Sure, it can't be cured, but if you have it, regardless how long you deny it, it is still there. It can be managed, and it is up to the individual how well they manage it. What I have worked out, is that no matter how many counsellors, shrinks, and specialists you see, none of them can actually help you fix yourself, you must do that yourself.
Once past denial, it makes things a whole lot easier to assess, and say to yourself, "screw this, I'm going to fix myself and manage this damn illness so I can live a pretty normal life." I won't bullshit about it, as I don't like be bullshitted too myself... but you can manage it with help. You need to learn, you need others around you (face to face) to identify and tell you when your doing something wrong that fits with a symptom, and you MUST listen to them when they say it, and not just go "yer yer, whatever", as we all do at times. Whether it be your spouse, family, friends, work associates, room mate, whatever, it needs to be some who understands about PTSD... is honest, and will give things too you straight. If your depressed and getting continuously drunk to suppress a hard time, you don't want someone around you condoning such activity, you want someone to be honest, and tell you that your drinking for the wrong reasons, and you need to stop now. You need to find what the problem is that you are suppressing, and deal with it head on. It is tough... I will tell you that, but it works.
Getting the problems, the demons and the secrets off your chest is one of the best ways to manage PTSD. I never actually told my shrinks or counsellors everything... because they simply where trying to provide solutions to the problems, and didn't really understand what was happening with me and my PTSD. When I did my PTSD course with the Mater Hospital, it was then that after really talking with others who have PTSD, I could unload to them, and get advice and practical solutions from their experience with similar matters. It was really what based this forum being built, in that we communicate together better than we communicate with others, because regardless how we got PTSD, the symptoms are exactly the same. We all do the same silly stuff, we feel the same feelings, and we suffer the same mental torture.... and when you get all the problems out, you may be quite unwell for a day or two, but you then get better, and begin to really work on the problems, each little situation, and quite honestly, you take life in baby steps conquering one thing at a time. It takes years to learn how to manage, but first you have to accept what you have to manage it. Its make it a bit hard to manage something you deny you have!