Sufferer Newish - I joined this support group several years ago. I fell out of the practice of checking in. Honestly, I don’t remember why.

depp

New Here
I joined this support group several years ago. I fell out of the practice of checking in. Honestly, I don’t remember why. In some ways I was doing better back then, but I’ve been doing much worse the last few years. I keep getting told by various health practitioners that it would help me to have a close community of supporters… which is a lovely idea. I agree! I would love to have a close community of supporters. That is really hard to find when your family was abusive, you married into a different abusive family and most people are so happy with their pleasant lives that they don’t want to hear about one that is rife with pain and difficulty.

It seems as though I can have a few relationships that are superficial to the point where those friends don’t even ask why I’ve been on long-term disability for 1.5 years. But, if I try to look for a deep relationship, people are quick to say “PTSD is too serious for me. I can’t be your friend. You’re too needy.” You know what kinds of people are needy? Those of us whose needs are not met by other people! If only a few people would bother to care about a few aspects of my life I would be healthier and happier. But I’m very alone.

My husband is a narcissist. After weighing pros and cons, I’m better off staying in the marriage. But it’s really difficult and I have no one to talk to. I looked through my contacts on my phone tonight and I literally have zero people I can call when my husband has hurt my feelings and refuses to consider apologizing. It was the most suicidal I have ever felt. I thought of calling a suicide hotline just to have someone to talk to about anything. It would feel nice just to chat with someone. I also thought of joining a friend-finding app, but then I’m right back to dealing with a bunch of people who likely don’t understand hardship and struggle. But then I remembered this support group.

I’m hoping that maybe I can connect with some of you sometimes. I know that people here understand difficulty and loneliness. I’m not very good at technology, so I’m not sure how to use the site well, but I hope to learn it enough to be able to connect with others.
 
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Weemie

MyPTSD Pro
Hi there, @depp and welcome back. I'm very sorry for the circumstances that have brought you to us but I am pleased that you were able to reconnect and introduce yourself formally. We're a community of all kinds -> some with trauma certainly similar to yours && those with much different, though still relatable histories.

We're all bound together by one thing -> PTSD doesn't care about what caused it, it only cares about producing the symptoms and difficulties that we all can deeply relate to, no matter how distinct our origins. It's regrettable that your husband is not able to offer you the type of support that should be inherent in a partnership, && indeed furthering this disconnect by purposefully harming you.

Living with such regularly occurring domestic abuse out must be a hugely contributing factor to what is undoubtedly a very challenging daily life for you.

“PTSD is too serious for me. I can’t be your friend. You’re too needy.” You know what kinds of people are needy? Those of us whose needs are not met by other people! If only a few people would bother to care about a few aspects of my life I would be healthier and happier. But I’m very alone.

However, this is something very familiar to me. I've struggled for my entire existence to form genuine human connections with others, && a significant deterrant has always been the scale and breadth of my past (raised in an extreme environment, && not something that is frequently encountered) -> && the effects of those experiences on my mental health.

It is frowned upon to "trauma dump" to one's friends, and yet I have so normalized trauma that I frequently engage in the practice without even being aware of it. To me, it was a funny anecdote. Everyone else is horrified. Most especially when trauma occurs in childhood, our sense of social foundation becomes impaired and we are furthered from "the ordinary." Sensations of isolation, alienation and dehumanization prevail.

In any case, such is not the case here. We are a merry band of misfits who "get it" && you are free to speak your truth, as intense as it may be, without judgment.
 
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depp

New Here
Hi there, @depp and welcome back. I'm very sorry for the circumstances that have brought you to us but I am pleased that you were able to reconnect and introduce yourself formally. We're a community of all kinds -> some with trauma certainly similar to yours && those with much different, though still relatable histories.

We're all bound together by one thing -> PTSD doesn't care about what caused it, it only cares about producing the symptoms and difficulties that we all can deeply relate to, no matter how distinct our origins. It's regrettable that your husband is not able to offer you the type of support that should be inherent in a partnership, && indeed furthering this disconnect by purposefully harming you.

Living with such regularly occurring domestic abuse out must be a hugely contributing factor to what is undoubtedly a very challenging daily life for you.



However, this is something very familiar to me. I've struggled for my entire existence to form genuine human connections with others, && a significant deterrant has always been the scale and breadth of my past (raised in an extreme environment, && not something that is frequently encountered) -> && the effects of those experiences on my mental health.

It is frowned upon to "trauma dump" to one's friends, and yet I have so normalized trauma that I frequently engage in the practice without even being aware of it. To me, it was a funny anecdote. Everyone else is horrified. Most especially when trauma occurs in childhood, our sense of social foundation becomes impaired and we are furthered from "the ordinary." Sensations of isolation, alienation and dehumanization prevail.

In any case, such is not the case here. We are a merry band of misfits who "get it" && you are free to speak your truth, as intense as it may be, without judgment.
Thank you for your caring and personalized reply! I’m sad to say that it was music to my ears and exactly what I need and want to hear.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience about your interactions with friends. I can really relate. Most of my stories are pretty terrible. I often feel like I’m faced with the choice of hiding my contribution to a conversation, or making it uncomfortable for others. One of my other troubles with relationships is that often my voice is one that is full of realities that people with comfortable lives don’t want to hear. As an example an acquaintance who had broken her ankle badly was complaining that her parents came over to her house and were cleaning and cooking for her and she was getting annoyed by their presence. My response was “you’re lucky you have parents who care for you so much. Not a single family member showed up to the hospital when I had open-heart surgery. Having people who care is something you should appreciate.” It just seems so hard to make friends.
Well, I hope to make some connections here. Thank you again for your welcome!
 
Welcome @depp, it can be hard to find fellow sufferers and/or support in the outside world, and this is a very safe place. We are all in ptsd together.

I can understand exactly what you said to your friend, and why. When I was recovering from an overdose a few years ago, my mother bought my abuser to the hospital to visit me. Abuse within a family can be a very lonely place, its a bit like shouting for help in a hurricane, you get to the point that you can't even hear yourself, but we hear you, and we understand.
 

Friday

Moderator
Welcome back! 😎

But, if I try to look for a deep relationship, people are quick to say “PTSD is too serious for me. I can’t be your friend. You’re too needy.

Most of my best and oldest friends (and nearly all new acquaintances or friends) have little to no idea I have PTSD. I’m just “me”. Sure, there are some exceptions to that, but it’s simply not what I’ve ever based my friendships on.

If mental health IS what you’d like to base friendships on? I’d very much recommend adult-day centers, outpatient mental health services, group therapy, support groups, etc… situations where the common denominator bringing people together are mental health concerns, specific diagnoses, or treatment programs.


I’m not very good at technology, so I’m not sure how to use the site well, but I hope to learn it enough to be able to connect with others.


This (below) should help! 😁


Also, always feel free to hit staff up at Contact Us if you’re running into any difficulties using the site.
 
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