Yesterday's goal was met and it worked. I made it today without falling apart. Today didn't go as well. I had a horrific meeting I couldn't handle or could but didn't handle well. I left a severely symptomatic mess. I begged the person not to keep emailing they did anyhow. The goal for the rest of the day goal is to try to stay alive and out of the hospital. My next step is to eat dinner and take Advil for the physical pain I'm in and make it through dinner and then figure out the next step after that. Just the next step. Not all the steps.