Hi. My name is Jeff, and I live in Chicago. I'm 43. I was physically, verbally, and emotionally abused by my parents and step father from birth until I was around 23. The last 20 years have been filled with depression, anxiety, binge drinking and self-hatred. I've been in therapy now for about a year with a great woman who is openning my eyes to the fact the abuse was not my fault. It is helpful for me to know I have chronic PTSD. It is also sad that it has taken the physciatric community so long to recognize this issue. The amount of self-hatred I experience is at times indescribable. I have put myself in horribly dangerous sexual situations, abused prescription drugs, and even self mutilated. My depression feels like an overall pain throughout my body. Antidepressants do not work for me, and have sickening side effects. Therapy is helping, and I've recently made friends with a truly beautiful and wonderful young lady who has some of the same issues as me. Talking to her is a delight and helpful. So I'm hopeful. At least today. Nice to have found this site too. Helpful to read there are others like me out there. So hi:hello: .