Nightmares about people trying to kill me?

that_1_girl

Confident
I have had many in my life but 2 or more nightmares about people actively trying to kill me, in the last week to ten days. Last night was the most recent. To my knowledge no one has ever actually tried to kill me or been physically violent against me beyond csa. That’s another matter entirely.

They are almost always very scary/distressing/upsetting and lately they always wake me up in some state of bad anxiety. I take Remeron (mirtazapine) and Valium (diazepam) at night now, as well as a nightmare med, that doesn’t seem to be working anymore, and several other things. So lately I tend to fall back asleep fast because Remeron + Valium knocks me the f out.

I tend to fight falling back asleep right away, though, because if I fall back asleep the same nightmare will come right back. But the meds usually win, even if I can fight it for 10 minutes or so.

Does anyone who *hasn’t* been physically assaulted and *hasn’t* been a survivor of attempted murder—but has CPTSD/PTSD from other types of abuse such as csa or adult sa (attempted or completed) and/or emotional/psychological/verbal abuse (especially systematic emotional/psychological/verbal abuse) and/or extreme (verbal/psychological) childhood bullying—or for any other non physical assault reason—have dreams like this? Is there a reason that you can discern?

***I *really* do NOT think my brain is trying to “tell me something that I previously had no memory of”…and if it is I’m not sure I want to know whatever it is trying to tell me. ***BUT if that is what has turned out to be your truth and you previously had zero memory of physical assault/abuse—then in that case, *that is your truth* and it’s *VALID* and those comments ARE welcome as well…
 

LittleBigFoot

MyPTSD Pro
Does anyone who *hasn’t* been physically assaulted and *hasn’t* been a survivor of attempted murder—but has CPTSD/PTSD from other types of abuse such as csa or adult sa (attempted or completed) and/or emotional/psychological/verbal abuse (especially systematic emotional/psychological/verbal abuse) and/or extreme (verbal/psychological) childhood bullying—or for any other non physical assault reason—have dreams like this? Is there a reason that you can discern?
I don’t know the reason, but yes. My traumas were not exactly violent towards me (CSA/violence of others/deaths that were traumatic but not violent). But I have nightmares often about everything from actual memories to being chased/killed to a ton of different scenarios involving death and violence. So you aren’t alone. I just don’t know the science.
 

osiris

MyPTSD Pro
My trauma history doesn’t include serious physical assault or attempted murder etc but I have dreams about people trying to kill me all the time, particularly after tough emdr sessions or when I am overloaded with stress.

Have you got a therapist? Worth talking to them I reckon. My T always has interesting insights about my nightmares.
 

that_1_girl

Confident
My trauma history doesn’t include serious physical assault or attempted murder etc but I have dreams about people trying to kill me all the time, particularly after tough emdr sessions or when I am overloaded with stress.

Have you got a therapist? Worth talking to them I reckon. My T always has interesting insights about my nightmares.
Hmm…interesting idea! I do have a regular T and a Somatic Experiencing T for trauma. SE is not the place for that but my regular psychologist might have some idea about it…I was thinking maybe it was the stress.

Also this comment is to both @LittleBigFoot and @osiris …thank you both very much! It is really helpful to hear that it isn’t necessarily violence-trauma-related because that would just be more than my brain can cope with at the moment! There’s a tremendous amount of stress going on so I was wondering after I posted it if maybe it was some metaphor for feeling threatened/very unsafe in some way? Either by my own brain or by my brand new overhaul of diagnoses (and meds) and rapidly/drastically changing brain chemistry, or possibly by my bio parents (even though I’m a fully grown adult and have been out of their house permanently for nearly a decade)…they’re being kind of ridiculous and unreasonable right now and I have to talk to them on Zoom next weekend because it’ll be my birthday. Not looking forward to it, but I’ll have support. I have not seen them in-person (as opposed to virtually) since pre-pandemic. I really DO have to see them on or around my birthday because they are paying for almost everything MH/medical-related and my school tuition so I can get off disability payments, since tbh they are the reason I only make $837 per month USD. (It was not my father’s choice, not mine, for me to go on permanent disability and get stuck under the very real, very low glass ceiling of poverty in the US. Temporary assistance/short-term disability would have been adequate.) and yet he complains about HIS financial problems (with a six-figure retirement pension) to someone who makes and lives on $10,044 per year with the exception of assistance from him for therapy that he is largely responsible for me needing. Uhh…Sorry, I digress!…I’m just really angry at him lately and he is mentally incapable of “looking in the mirror” whatsoever. Neither of my parents are capable of that at all and I’m kind of dreading next Saturday. That could be the source of the more frequent dreams about people trying to do me in…
 

Sideways

Moderator
I frequently have dreams about the end of the world. There is no literal mirror of that to my lived experience (obviously, the world hasn't exploded!).

They tend to come up when I'm particularly stressed. And sometimes, just because. Thanks brain! Glad that crazy "brain doing it's dreaming thing" happens while I'm safely tucked up in bed.
 
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