Relationship No contact in 3 weeks

[southwest]

So just some back story I have posted a few other posts about my partner.

So me and my partner have had a rough few months due to her being triggered. We slowed our relationship down due to her needing space and time. Basically we've gone from texting and talking each day to text every few days. We see each other maybe once a week or once every two weeks. We were long distance before so we would only see each other once a month.

She has been really struggling and has recently gotten back into therapy. At one point she said she knew how long of a battle this would be working on her cptsd and wasn't sure she could do it while in a relationship. She followed it up by saying I was amazing and didn't want to lose. I've been trying to support her as much as I can. I also understand that this is her battle.

Just recently I left for a work trip and we said we loved each other and I haven't heard from her in two weeks. I texted twice during my trip and nothing. I don't know what to do or say.

 

[Sweetpea76]

There is not much you can do. Isolation sucks for partners. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

If it helps, I look at giving my partner space as a loving act. He needs the space to regroup and feel better. I want him to feel better so I don’t take it personally and give him his time.

That being said, I have my boundaries about how long I’m willing to wait. He can’t leave for months and expect me to be here when he gets back.

 

[southwest]

There is not much you can do. Isolation sucks for partners. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

If it helps, I look at giving my partner space as a loving act. He needs the space to regroup and feel better. I want him to feel better so I don’t take it personally and give him his time.

That being said, I have my boundaries about how long I’m willing to wait. He can’t leave for months and expect me to be here when he gets back.

It's definitely hard I don't even know if I'm in a relationship at this point of they see it as over.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I’d have a good think and decide how long you’re willing to feel like this. You’re allowed your boundaries too.

 

[southwest]

There is not much you can do. Isolation sucks for partners. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

If it helps, I look at giving my partner space as a loving act. He needs the space to regroup and feel better. I want him to feel better so I don’t take it personally and give him his time.

That being said, I have my boundaries about how long I’m willing to wait. He can’t leave for months and expect me to be here when he gets back.

Do you let him contact you when he's ready or do you contact him?

 

[Sweetpea76]

I let him contact me… with him knowing my boundaries. If he wants to be in a relationship with me he can’t just go radio-silence for weeks. If I don’t hear from him I consider the relationship over, and he knows it.

 

[southwest]

I let him contact me… with him knowing my boundaries. If he wants to be in a relationship with me he can’t just go radio-silence for weeks. If I don’t hear from him I consider the relationship over, and he knows it.

Thanks

 

[Sweetpea76]

It sucks. The first time he bailed I was frantic. That’s when I had to set my boundaries.

 

[Friday]

Ditto @Sweetpea76 - Q soft & hard limits? Make the world go round.

 

[southwest]

It sucks. The first time he bailed I was frantic. That’s when I had to set my boundaries.

I'm not sure what to do at this point we didn't get a chance to set any kind of limits before she pulled away.

Now I don't even know if I should contact her.

 

[Friday]

Now I don't even know if I should contact her.

If you need MORE contact than every three weeks? f*ck, yes. Contact her.

Or? Break up with her and go sleep with someone else or three.

Seriously.

Just because someone has a disorder doesn’t change time & space. Assholes and great people both end up in wheelchairs, or with PTSD, or deaf, or impotent, or blind, or whatever. What someone else is dealing with? Has no bearing on who you are, as a person, and what you need/want/desire in relationships with other people.

If you’re cool waiting? Wait.
If you’ve reached your limit? Either end it, or contact them.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Just because someone has a disorder doesn’t change time & space. Assholes and great people both end up in wheelchairs, or with PTSD, or deaf, or impotent, or blind, or whatever. What someone else is dealing with? Has no bearing on who you are, as a person, and what you need/want/desire in relationships with other people

Amen. The right person will respect your boundaries and work at the relationship even if they’re not doing well all the time. If they can’t do that they’re not the right person.