whiteraven
MyPTSD Pro
I'm not quite sure how to explain all of this. I played the middle growing up; my mom would tell me something to tell my dad (and vice versa). They never talked to each other, except through me. It was exhausting.
Growing up and always, it seems, no one ever reached out to me - to ask me if I was ok, to do anything more than to ask stuff of me. Would I do this? That? And frequently, there has not been follow-up. Like, someone would ask me to do something - expect me to do something - and then not provide any further info.
This happened a LOT. And I think I'm realizing how huge a trigger it is for me now. I got an email in July from the minister at our church asking me if I wanted to help with the pet blessing service - I said yes and asked her to let me know what she needed me to do - and then never heard from her again. The service is on Sunday. I'm feeling angry and, although I don't want to just not show up, I also don't want to go. At all.
She's done this to me before. They asked me to take on a leadership role, then when I emailed her with some info I needed her assistance with, and she never responded. There was also a time before that. I know she gets the email; when she doesn't respond, I feel completely disregarded.
It's happened before as well with my then-massage therapist (took her 3 weeks to respond to me after telling me to use email) and my nutritionist.
I always have to figure out everything for myself. And I just don't feel strong enough to do it anymore.
Growing up and always, it seems, no one ever reached out to me - to ask me if I was ok, to do anything more than to ask stuff of me. Would I do this? That? And frequently, there has not been follow-up. Like, someone would ask me to do something - expect me to do something - and then not provide any further info.
This happened a LOT. And I think I'm realizing how huge a trigger it is for me now. I got an email in July from the minister at our church asking me if I wanted to help with the pet blessing service - I said yes and asked her to let me know what she needed me to do - and then never heard from her again. The service is on Sunday. I'm feeling angry and, although I don't want to just not show up, I also don't want to go. At all.
She's done this to me before. They asked me to take on a leadership role, then when I emailed her with some info I needed her assistance with, and she never responded. There was also a time before that. I know she gets the email; when she doesn't respond, I feel completely disregarded.
It's happened before as well with my then-massage therapist (took her 3 weeks to respond to me after telling me to use email) and my nutritionist.
I always have to figure out everything for myself. And I just don't feel strong enough to do it anymore.