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Sufferer Noob here - Diagnosed 4 years ago, and it's been one hell of a ride since.

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Sunshine6775

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I was diaged 4 years ago, and it's been one hell of a ride since. Now that I know I have PTSD a small comfort is in me because my whole life I thought I was just crazy and stupid because I can't control my emotions. But at the same time it's very difficult to realize these symptoms I have been experiencing is a result of trauma of domestic abuse and sexual abuse that started at age 7 and lasted until I moved out, yet still is present in my Family ( not the sex abuse ) and I am 47 which is sickening. I just recently told my dad to pretty much F off and I told him that what he did was wrong! I feel so liberated by this, but the constant day to day struggle to try to be positive, to have a sense of self, trying to live in the moment, not to mention the personalization of EVERYTHING in your life is very very exhausting yet I still sleep like shit at night. Music, cold water, meditation and hiding from others to rejuvenate seems to help some.
 
hello sunshine. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

i'm far from certain, but what you are calling, "personalization" sounds like what i call, "control freakitis." when i started on my recovery road, i had the compassion --including self compassion-- of a bulldozer and didn't take much of anything personal, but the stick up my ass had a stick up its ass. i did my level best to control everything and everybody around me. my way or the highway, ma'am/sir. control issues are another common ptsd symptom. the psyche's attempt to hold steady in the stormy sees.

dunno if it is the same or i just needed to vent, but. . .
steadying support while you sort your own case.
welcome aboard.
 
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