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Not Quite A Success Yet, But Getting There

Discussion in 'Accomplishments' started by Marlene, Mar 9, 2007.

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  1. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    When my PTSD got bad enough that I couldn’t suppress my symptoms anymore, they went out of control and my life went completely upside down. Neither I nor my family were in any way, shape or form prepared for any of this. But I found out something that I always knew, but never knew to this full extent…my family loves me, supports me and will do whatever it takes to help me. Help me when all I could do was sit and cry and help me as I’ve been working to help myself heal and everything in between.

    I’ve learned so much about myself on this journey. I’m becoming a better person. I’m liking myself a lot more than before. This is also helping me to be a better wife to my husband and mother to my daughters. These may not seem like lofty goals, but my family has always been the most important thing in my life…why shouldn’t they get my best?

    Being on this forum and meeting the people here has helped me to heal. Just to know I wasn’t the only one out there who felt like this and that dealt with all of the stuff that comes with PTSD was such a relief. Learning, talking to others, writing and dealing with my traumas, fighting my way out of denial, running the gamut of emotions (it’s finally dawning on me that I need to run through all of these emotions because for so many year most of them were neatly tucked away and this is part of healing), laughing and crying with others. And most importantly…I can see the changes in my life (for the better) and I’ve found something I thought I’d lost-hope. Hope for myself and my future.

    Learning to heal, to take life each day as it comes, learning what it means to live with PTSD…I consider these my successes. I still have a ways to go yet, but I know I’m pointed in the right direction and I will succeed.
    Jim and Kathy like this.
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  3. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

    A nice story. That looks like efforts to change yourself to better is going the right direction. Good luck!
  4. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    Success is not simply the destination, it's also the journey there, and the attitude you have while healing. I think you definitely have the right attitude Marlene, and are well on your way to success. Thank you so much for sharing.
  5. juls

    juls Active Member

    I'm really glad that you've shared this and that you're healing and you know that so many people care about you!
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Having the people I love be so caring and supportive through all of this has helped to make going through this not as bad as it could have been. I wonder if they'll ever know how much they've done for me? When I talk to them about it, I always hear the same thing, 'hey, we're family...we take care of each other'. I'm a very lucky woman.

    Thanks to everyone for such positive feedback!
  7. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

    Hello Marlene, I've finally read your story (I have a problem with long posts so thanks for the para breaks!) Its a brilliant story. I understand it totally. Being able to have hopes and dreams for the future is really good. Keep it up, you've worked hard for it and it sounds like you are making real progress.

  8. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Thanks, Claire. *Hugs*
  9. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    It’s been almost six months since I wrote my original post. I’m feeling like I’m a lot farther down the road to being a success than I have been in a long time. For me, one of the best benefits of this is that things that used to tie me into knots and absolutely tear me up are now, for the most part, just passed by without a second thought. Who would have thought that I don’t need perfection in my life, my house, my family, my job, myself. I know that this realization has made my life much more enjoyable and has home life for my family easier. I still have my moments (don’t we all!), but they’re a lot fewer and farther between. Being able to laugh at yourself, not taking everything so seriously is a gift. I’m still a work in progress, but that’s what makes the journey exciting.

    I sat down and thought about what I have accomplished in my life in the last six month and I was really surprised at where I am compared to where I was.

    *I’ve dealt with A LOT of issues in my life. In looking back through my life, it’s amazing how negative thought processes and negative habits become so engrained in our lives. Recognizing and changing them is tough, but so worth it.

    *I’ve gotten off of the meds. This has given me such a sense of control back in my life. I know now that the progress I’ve made is because of me and my hard work and not because the pills are suppressing things for me. Having this knowledge has made a world of difference for me in my recovery and my sense of empowerment.

    *I’ve learned to take care of myself better and to cut myself some slack. Taking a short nap after work is part of that taking care and doesn’t mean that I’m a slacker. Taking a hot bath after a tough day and asking someone else to cook dinner doesn’t mean I’m not pulling my weight. Saying that I deserve down time/me time doesn’t I’m not taking care of my family. These and many other things all add up to one point for me…I’ve discovered that I’m as valuable as everyone else.

    *I’ve stopped measuring my success by other people’s standards and have started using my own. Talk about taking some pressure off!

    *One of the biggest issues I’ve dealt with has been my relationship with my father. Dealing with all of the anger and hurt has helped me to put a lot of this aside and remember the good stuff that was there and actually miss him without having all of the qualifiers attached.

    *Something that my husband and I learned in the Army and have never forgotten is the phrase ‘If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, adapt and overcome.’ Since I can’t change my PTSD and how it affects me and my family, I’ve (actually we’ve) had to learn to adapt and overcome. One of the best ways I know that I’m adapting and my family is adapting is that we laugh about a lot of it now. Not in a way that lessens it. We’ve always been ones that laugh at our troubles to help deal with them. For example: The other day my youngest daughter came in out of the sun and heat and said something along the lines of ‘Whoa…I’m seeing things.’ I looked at her and said, ‘Hey…if there’s any hallucinating to be done in this family, I’ll be doing it.’ We all had a good laugh out of that. This is now part of the fabric of our lives. There’s no getting around it, so we’ve adjusted ourselves to make room for it. It’s not perfect by a long shot, but it’s a lot better than it was before. And as to the laughing…I’ve always figured in dealing with the things life throws at you that you can laugh or you can cry. I’ve had enough of the crying and I’m enjoying being able to laugh again.

  10. nugget

    nugget Well-Known Member

    :claps: Says it all.
  11. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Great job........
  12. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    That's great Lisa. You are doing so well! Thanks so much for being my friend too.
    Marlene likes this.
  13. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

    Marlene, you should be proud of yourself..it is quite a journey you are on !

    Your family helped by supporting you and showing you their love but when all is said and done it is you that wanted to get better and slowly but surely you are getting there ! One day at the time !

    You are an inspiration to all who read this :)
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