Not Wanting To Be Around People

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I don't want to be around people. They upset me but it is not their fault. Their lives seem so petty. So easy going. I feel anger because I wish I had such small things to worry about. I am unable to keep a measured response to others. I feel apart from other people. They are unaware of how ugly and scary everything is. Does this go away after time? Does anything feel or seem normal again after years of being past the trauma?
 
I find it tends to come in phases. During that time I avoid people at work, going in my breaks for long walks and also at home turning on the answer machine so noone can get through. In a way it is good to avoid people as when you feel angry you would just have a go at them anyway.

I have learned to live with people annoying me. I try to avoid saying anything I might regret and swallow a negative comment. If I don't want to hear it as I think it is petty, I nod and look like I am listening, when actually I am daydreaming about something.
 
Wrecks my head too,I call them the broken finger nail brigade.

How dare they moan to me that they are devastated because thier cat went missing,thier heel broke or thier misted up window needs replacing when we are living in hell.
 
Hi LadyLazarus. Oh yes, I know that I, and I'm sure many others, can completely relate to this. I think that as hard as we may try to separate our own experiences from our judgments of others, it's sometimes impossible not to look at our own world of dark hell and feel just a little contempt for the minor hiccup in the life of someone who perceives trauma as being late for their favourite tv show.

Whyever the reason, distancing ourselves from people and feeling irrational, flamable anger, is a sad, yet common, feature of PTSD. I think managing this is all about finding the balance - the balance between identifying and carefully nurturing safe, healthy social connections to help us prevent total self-enforced isolation, yet also respecting our need to step away from the undue pressure of social interactions that can be so triggering at times. I think there is a time to push ourselves, sometimes forcefully, to connect, and a time to give ourselves a break. Wish I knew an easy way of finding and walking that fine line, but I don't... maybe there really is no answer other than self-awareness, perseverance and, hopefully, some healthy connections with a professional and/or personal support network who can help to add balance to our internal world of eratic hell.

Sorry, I wish I had more hope and positivity for you, but there's precious little of it tonight I think.

Maddog
 
I have this trouble on and off. I just don't seem to relate with caring about things like the latest car, the latest fashion, the perfect vacation, keeping up appearances. It just all seems so empty for me sometimes. I did find that if I take a walk in the woods or go to a petting zoo the people seem to be easier for me. Simple things like watching someone feed the ducks or walk their dogs helps me to be able to bond a little easier.

When I do want to isolate I do it because I feel it's not only better for me but for others too. So, they don't have to be around my bad vibes.
 
I saw the title of your post and thought "Ah Ha! I can relate!"

It's not that I can't do small talk, I can, but there are times it just isn't where my head is at and I really don't care, so I want to be careful not add to my already mountain of guilt, anger, and pain by subjecting myself to the unnecessary. The old "smile and nod" usually works while I duck out or never show in the first place.

For me, it always passes, and I try to remember that it's good to chat about light subjects just to divert myself, to find a laugh or two in between the tears. I'm hoping it will pass for you. Good topic!

Peace,
Rain
 
I go through phases where i just feel wrong with everyone too, at every interaction I feel like I've said or done something wrong - too loud, too quiet, too silly, too serious.
Or i feel like everyone else belongs somewhere and I don't.
When it's like that even the people i know i like seem a million miles away and there's no point in trying. Sadly that often coincides with the times I need people..... I just can't ever seem to feel I matter or belong. It's almost as if there's something wrong with everyone for my inner child to cope with, everyone is a trigger of some kind or other, and I sort of tell myself "pick up your bags, and keep moving, better luck next time"
My job is with people and when I'm helping them it's fine, I can relate to them and get on with them effortlessly. I'm even really good at it sometimes.
But it's still empty because I'm not really in the equation. It's another example of sitting on the sidelines and watching other people have their lives. Somehow I don't count.

Thanks for listening

H
 
Yes. But after living with this for a long time, I see that people really are pretty bad off all around. And if they are not right now, their time will come. It is ad but true. Most people go through suffering.

So I just try to be nice to everyone because they be like me, trying to hide it.

Yes, there are people who I know are NOT suffering and they can be so petty. I stay away from them or just do something to distance myself from them, like read or fool with Ipod while they are in the room. I have learned to totally block people out and not feel bad about it. I am not rude about it, but I have to stay apart so I am NOT rude! Hahaa.....

Because I used to not be able to hold it in!!!
 
You've naield it again Helliepig, your post more or less summarised my day today much better than I ever could. I watched my external self crawl through my day today, as though I lived outside of her, and every interaction she touched was wrong and awkward and unnatural and negative. There's more pain than there used to be though, that's what's frighteningly changing lately.

MD
 
I know how that feels. My therapist says it's better out than in, that as the dissociative walls break down you are left with the crap that was in there from way back, and that takes time to heal. Just gotta feel it i guess and keep on keeping on.
Does feel like you've lost all touch with anything right and good and meaninful tho doesn't it.
Sometimes i yearn for the dissociated me i was before it all started to fall apart and i learnt about this shit.
So good to know other people understand even tho i'm sorry you're going thru it too
X
 
Oh yeah, if I'm honest, there's not a day goes by right now that I don't find myself at some point longing for those old numb, dissociated days of denial. Life was difficult, but in different ways, and at least it was doable and functional. I remember those days and compare them against my current life and I can't believe we are the same person.

Yes, my T says the same thing, that it's all got to come out and have its day of reckoning before it can be processed, dealt with and then, somehow, reconciled to the best extent possible. I don't doubt that long term he's probably right. But it's living through the meantime that is the part that nobody warns you about. Darnit, this stuff is so hard isn't it.

MD
 
Does anything feel or seem normal again after years of being past the trauma?

Unfortunately our experiences can't be undone and that's the hardest truth about PTSD, no cast in the world can heal what's been fractured. I think all we can do is learn to cope with the cards we've been dealt and keep pushing; even when we don't want to. The comfort I find in all of this is that no one, NO ONE is normal. Normal is a poorly formed concept that keeps us striving for something that does not exist like perfection and happiness; it's subjective. So when I see people I assume are normal I think to myself you know Joe schmo has got issues too. They may not be as in-depth as mine( or maybe they are) but on some level that person is also coping.

People upset me too. I actually really, really don't like people and I have no rational reason as to why that is. The only people I really like are the ones behind avatars. I can relate to these people. It takes time but I think you will get to a place where you can deal with people outside in the world with a little less anger and more acceptance. <3
 
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