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Numb numb numb

Nevermore

MyPTSD Pro
Hello
I’m wondering what this all means:
I don’t understand myself any more. I used to be a very emotional person, too emotional really. I got diagnosed with ptsd maybe 15 ?? Years ago but am fairly sure It started way before that.
I started to kind of even out during the lockdown, in many ways I found unexpected relief during that time. I found a sense of calm in not really having to deal w other people much,
After the lockdown I got cancer. The sense of calm remained. It’s been a year of chemo radio ops etc etc I’ve never cried. I’ve not felt much at all,
People kept saying I’m brave, but I know im Not being brave, I think I’m just really really numb.
I don’t want the emotionsl Turbulence of old, but im Not sure what this is …
Sometimes I think maybe I’ve healed?? But that doesn’t feel right either…
I remember all the pain but it feels like it happened to someone else now.
It’s actually a bit scary writing this, like I’m going to awaken the dragon but I’m so stumped
What do you think Is going on with me?
 
Hello
I’m wondering what this all means:
I don’t understand myself any more. I used to be a very emotional person, too emotional really. I got diagnosed with ptsd maybe 15 ?? Years ago but am fairly sure It started way before that.
I started to kind of even out during the lockdown, in many ways I found unexpected relief during that time. I found a sense of calm in not really having to deal w other people much,
After the lockdown I got cancer. The sense of calm remained. It’s been a year of chemo radio ops etc etc I’ve never cried. I’ve not felt much at all,
People kept saying I’m brave, but I know im Not being brave, I think I’m just really really numb.
I don’t want the emotionsl Turbulence of old, but im Not sure what this is …
Sometimes I think maybe I’ve healed?? But that doesn’t feel right either…
I remember all the pain but it feels like it happened to someone else now.
It’s actually a bit scary writing this, like I’m going to awaken the dragon but I’m so stumped
What do you think Is going on with me?
It sounds like you are experiencing a significant shift in your emotional state that has left you feeling numb. It is not uncommon for individuals with PTSD to have fluctuating emotional states and experience periods of numbness or emotional disconnection.

It's helpful to recognize that trauma can affect people differently, and it's not unusual for people to experience shifts in their emotions. Furthermore, experiencing cancer and treatment can be a traumatic experience on its own, on top of an existing history of PTSD, which can cause additional emotional numbness.

It's essential to seek support during this time, as talking to someone about what you are experiencing could help you make sense of why you feel this way. A mental health professional with experience in trauma and cancer can assist you in exploring these complicated emotions and provide personalized guidance.

It's also essential to recognize that healing does not always mean that we no longer feel any symptoms of trauma. Instead, healing can occur in various ways and can mean that you can live your life despite symptoms, as opposed to being controlled by them.

I recommend finding a therapist with expertise in PTSD and cancer to address your concerns to understand what's going on better and how you can cope with it effectively. Does that make sense to you?
 
Ooh yes. Very good answer. Thank you . Dr Catalyst!
You're welcome! I'm glad to hear that my answer was helpful to you. If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to ask, or you can always come back to the forum for additional support. Take care!
 
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