LittleBigFoot
Policy Enforcement
Or more specifically, how many books is normal to read in, say, a week?
I don’t know what to call one of the things I do, but I call it obsessive (addictive or compulsive) distraction. I go through periods of being completely engrossed in one particular thing (be it a hobby, a food, a career idea) for maybe a month and then drop it and move onto the next obsession because I’m sick to death of whatever it is. But there is no quiet in between because I strongly dislike alone time with my brain.
The last year has been intensely stressful and that’s made this particular coping mechanism much much worse. Reading is one of the things I manage to have stuck with for several years off and on. I don’t mean having a book I’m slowly working through over several weeks, Nope. I’m talking a full length (300-400 page romances usually) book a day or more. Kindle Unlimited is how I can afford that.
But there’s a few problems- I’m not exactly reading anymore. I’m compulsively skimming through 3-4 each day (especially in the last couple weeks) to catch certain parts and hurry up to the next one. I feel physically stressed if a book sits on the Kindle longer than a day I HAVE to hurry up through it and get to the next. But I’m bored, because they’re all the same, but I can’t stop. I’ve tried. I’ve tried leaving the Kindle home, putting it across the room at night, trying to bring my focus onto playing The Sims on the computer. But I can’t, I can’t focus on shit and NEED to get back to it but all it is is downloading, skimming, and boredom. It’s in the way of real life- you do not want to look at my house right now and I can’t f*cking sleep. I bring it to work and break rules because I can’t focus on just work, I can’t leave it alone, I can’t not do it.
My thought is to limit my books to however many a normal person would do in a week and force myself to actually read and not skim and force myself to enjoy it like normal people do. But I’m also thinking that won’t be successful and I don’t know how to fix my brain.
Help?
I don’t know what to call one of the things I do, but I call it obsessive (addictive or compulsive) distraction. I go through periods of being completely engrossed in one particular thing (be it a hobby, a food, a career idea) for maybe a month and then drop it and move onto the next obsession because I’m sick to death of whatever it is. But there is no quiet in between because I strongly dislike alone time with my brain.
The last year has been intensely stressful and that’s made this particular coping mechanism much much worse. Reading is one of the things I manage to have stuck with for several years off and on. I don’t mean having a book I’m slowly working through over several weeks, Nope. I’m talking a full length (300-400 page romances usually) book a day or more. Kindle Unlimited is how I can afford that.
But there’s a few problems- I’m not exactly reading anymore. I’m compulsively skimming through 3-4 each day (especially in the last couple weeks) to catch certain parts and hurry up to the next one. I feel physically stressed if a book sits on the Kindle longer than a day I HAVE to hurry up through it and get to the next. But I’m bored, because they’re all the same, but I can’t stop. I’ve tried. I’ve tried leaving the Kindle home, putting it across the room at night, trying to bring my focus onto playing The Sims on the computer. But I can’t, I can’t focus on shit and NEED to get back to it but all it is is downloading, skimming, and boredom. It’s in the way of real life- you do not want to look at my house right now and I can’t f*cking sleep. I bring it to work and break rules because I can’t focus on just work, I can’t leave it alone, I can’t not do it.
My thought is to limit my books to however many a normal person would do in a week and force myself to actually read and not skim and force myself to enjoy it like normal people do. But I’m also thinking that won’t be successful and I don’t know how to fix my brain.
Help?