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Old Photos of You.....what do you see?

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Curious....when you look at photos that you’re in from the past, do you recognize yourself?

Perhaps there are various levels on this - from ‘nope’ to ‘they say that’s me’ to ‘most definitely’.

How about people who are also in those photos with you?

I’m curious about memory and how it changes as we grow away from the moments in our lives. If you are too, this might be a good place to bounce it around!
 
I have a few photos of me and my siblings tucked away. They're at various different ages of childhood.

I know which one is me because I've been told "that's you", and because I recognise each of my siblings. So, natural problem solving kicks in. But if I were to be told, "actually that's your sister's best friend - you aren't in this photo"? I'd totally buy that.

It goes further than that though - I have quite a nasty reaction to a couple of them. Still a bit of hatred for that child that was apparently me. And there's a disconnect as well. If I look at some unknown 4 year old walking past, I can understand instantly "That's an innocent child, and they have a right to be kept safe". I don't have that at all when I look at photos of me, and I even struggle to have that same response towards pics of my siblings as children, as though there's too much water under the bridge.

I keep them with my therapy work, though, and pull them out at poignant moments. To remind myself, even though it's uncomfortable and still feels foreign - I was just a child too once, when all this stuff happened.
 
Yes I recognise myself.

Recent photos I see panic behind the manic grin. Or I see nobody’s home. Or an intense desire not to be seen.

The photos of me as a kid, I don’t see how unhappy my T’s have said I look.
 
I do not have pictures of me younger younger but I have seen pictures of me teenager and hmmm interesting looks of vacant, happy but controlled/contained emotive face, and dreamy look as if floating...I never thought about that...but also interestingly enough there are a lot of emotions hidden under the glow of youth!
 
I try really hard NOT to look at pictures of myself. After our mom died, my brother had copies made of "old family movies" and his wife offered me a copy. I turned her down. Too creepy? On the other hand, maybe I'm a little curious about what I'd have seen. The only picture I really have of myself, pre-adult, is me & my first horse and I only like that one because it's "us", not "me". I don't like looking in the mirror either.
 
My parts are very specific. When I look at my three year old photos I look sad, scared. Rarely one with a smile unless my mommy is holding me. My six year old looks shy. My nine year old photos and those years following show a little girl changing. The photos at that age confuse me because I just see a girl with rainbow hair ties and messy hair. Not the whore or bad person she believed that she had transformed into. High school... the perfection and normal hiding, fake innocence and hoping they can’t see the bad. Nine and up— a giant cover up.
 
It scares me to look at old photos because I think I look happy.

Recent photos I see panic behind the manic grin. Or I see nobody’s home. Or an intense desire not to be seen.

The photos of me as a kid, I don’t see how unhappy my T’s have said I look.

I showed some photos to my T - I have tons - and his initial reaction was something like, "wow...I see the terror in your eyes." Seriously? I see none of that.

And I do recognize myself and most everyone else.
 
It's sometimes quite hard to recognise myself when I was a child. In my mind, I was 'someone else' at times. I realise now that that was dissociation.

I see a little girl with a 'glazed over' look in her eyes. A girl who was sad, afraid, lonely, confused. Sometimes 'smiling' - that way where it doesn't reach your eyes.

Other people in photos with me - mother - is like a stranger. It was like that in reality too. I remember looking at her and wondering who she was sometimes.

Later, in my 20s, there was one person who I met and loved, but that person hated to have their photo taken. There's only one photo of us together. I remember being very happy back then though.
 
For myself, I see a standard issue '70's boy who (mistakenly) imagines his family to be the BEST! It certainly didn't occur to me that the dynamic I was threaded into was by any means substandard, let along dysfunctional or damaging. Children are wired to attach, wired to trust parents, siblings, neighbors and most whomever. Certainly it's not registered on my face that anything was strictly up, while I'd very much like to burst through time Butterfly Effect film-style, consistent with interjecting needed awareness without further ado. When can I go? Please can I go? Please...
 
I found a picture of a beautiful teenage girl in our family photos. Beautiful skin, large haunted blue eyes, open sweet face. I could not place her. I kept thinking she must be a cousin. For weeks I tried to think of who she was. Then I found a bunch of pictures from the same day. There I was with my sisters, my mom...same girl... And I was shocked. Of course it was me...I never felt pretty or clean or worthy. I was always ashamed of myself. It was truly one of the weirdest experiences of my life. Makes me think its similar to suppressed memories. When the memories come back you know they were always there, just hidden behind another picture.
 
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