Old Stress, New Stress

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
Tonight is our last night in Santa Fe after Silver City, NM and after leaving downtown Portland on day 55 of the protests. We're moving to a little town not far down the road.

I spent the last couple of weeks rebuilding a 14' slide-out in a park model RV we bought to live in. I installed the last piece of paneling, today. That was a mess but the worst of that is over now and everything else in the trailer looks pretty good.

Now, I get to sit in the quiet of rural New Mexico and try to sort my life and brain out. Ugh. Where's a homeless guy dragging a mattress onto your fire escape when you need one?

The thought of the quiet makes me cringe. The new location is pretty but boring.

It feels like all things have been pretty high energy since staring at the cieling wincing at each flash grenade explosion at night in Portland. I feel like coming down is going to be hard. I feel like having stability again is going to feel a little like shackles for a while.

It seems like I should welcome some peace and I am trying to but the idea feels very uncomfortable right now.

Is this about anxiety, PTSD, being an adrenaline junkie or all of the above?

Is there any way to come down gracefully or am I destined to overdose on coffee and spend my next few weeks screaming at everything that moves?

Any advice would be appreciated.
 

Friday

Moderator
I feel like coming down is going to be hard. I feel like having stability again is going to feel a little like shackles for a while.
Yes.
Is this about anxiety, PTSD, being an adrenaline junkie or all of the above?
Yes.
Is there any way to come down gracefully or am I destined to overdose on coffee and spend my next few weeks screaming at everything that moves?
Gentling the landing... is absolutely doable. Although expect some ass over teakettle in there, too. Think : Stress Cup. If everything that happened was all bad-stress -disaster & catastrophe now over- you’d know exactly what to do, yes? Same thing, when it’s excitement, and hard pushes, and giant energy expenditures. What goes UP? Must come doooooooooown.

Self care. Some carefully curated adrenaline junkie shit (and being in a new place? You have soooooo many new avenues to explore THAT aspect with). Blowing off stress early and often. Sleeping more than you otherwise might. “The land of 10,000 projects” (all in various stages of completion) to keep your mind and body active/engaged/distracted. Pain management. Routine.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
Although expect some ass over teakettle in there, too. Think : Stress Cup. If everything that happened was all bad-stress -disaster & catastrophe now over- you’d know exactly what to do, yes? Same thing, when it’s excitement, and hard pushes, and giant energy expenditures. What goes UP? Must come doooooooooown.
I KNOW!!!! Arggggghhhhhh!!!! I think I already feel a long winter's depression coming on.

Thank you. I do still have plenty of things I can do to keep busy from looking for work to replacing all the cabinet handles - though these are more boring. Sigh.

Seems like a good time to do some reckless driving. 😂
 
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