I have been in an on-off relationship with an Iraq veteran who is suffering from PTSD and only after our last breakup 4 months ago has started to get help.
When we met 7 years ago everything seemed just perfect. Although we had a long distance relationship most of the time (I live in Europe-he lived in the US but moved to Europe shortly after we met, although not to the same country) we were very close , talked on the phone every day and met at least twice a month, sometimes more often.
He never talked about what happened in the war but signs of PTSD were very clear. Insomnia, restlessness, depression, impatience,... After about 1 year the first signs of him cheating on me with other women became also quite clear. I stayed with him through a lot of difficult times, supported him financially (lots of money...) and emotionally. Other women were always an issue, during the past 4 years however, things seemd to improve and I was not aware of anything. 4 months ago I found out that he had been leading a double life with another women in another country (with several others on the side at the same time). I broke up for the last time. Now he seems to be getting help for the first time, is taking anti-depressants and is in therapy. He just will not let go and contacts me constantly, explaining all the wrong he did with PTSD.
This is extremely diffiult for me as I know I can not take all this any more and have to look after myself and at the same time I feel so guilty for not supporting him. At the same time I think that he probably tells the same to all the other women...
Does anyone understand what I am trying to say, maybe have a similar experience and would be able to tell me how to deal with it?
Of course I still love him and only want him to get well, I just do not feel strong enough at the moment to help him through all of this. Mainly because I am so afraid of beeing disappointed again.
Thank you.
When we met 7 years ago everything seemed just perfect. Although we had a long distance relationship most of the time (I live in Europe-he lived in the US but moved to Europe shortly after we met, although not to the same country) we were very close , talked on the phone every day and met at least twice a month, sometimes more often.
He never talked about what happened in the war but signs of PTSD were very clear. Insomnia, restlessness, depression, impatience,... After about 1 year the first signs of him cheating on me with other women became also quite clear. I stayed with him through a lot of difficult times, supported him financially (lots of money...) and emotionally. Other women were always an issue, during the past 4 years however, things seemd to improve and I was not aware of anything. 4 months ago I found out that he had been leading a double life with another women in another country (with several others on the side at the same time). I broke up for the last time. Now he seems to be getting help for the first time, is taking anti-depressants and is in therapy. He just will not let go and contacts me constantly, explaining all the wrong he did with PTSD.
This is extremely diffiult for me as I know I can not take all this any more and have to look after myself and at the same time I feel so guilty for not supporting him. At the same time I think that he probably tells the same to all the other women...
Does anyone understand what I am trying to say, maybe have a similar experience and would be able to tell me how to deal with it?
Of course I still love him and only want him to get well, I just do not feel strong enough at the moment to help him through all of this. Mainly because I am so afraid of beeing disappointed again.
Thank you.