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Sufferer On the path to healing - CPTSD from childhood trauma, diagnosed 2 months ago.

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Lavender22

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Hi everyone. I would say about two months ago, I was diagnosed with CPTSD. I was extremely caught off guard, I was like me? no way. I have dealt with extreme childhood trauma involving violence. I have noticed so many things about myself that I would have never noticed if I had not spoken to a therapist. One main thing I do everywhere and I try to stop is scanning the room, I am extremely hypervigilant to the point that it makes my anxiety startup and it then escalates quickly into a panic attack. In social gatherings, I am non-stop scanning the room, people their personalities, for an unknown threat. When I hear yelling or loud noises I jump and get this nasty feeling in my stomach. I have never known that doing those things was not normal.. always on the lookout in survival mode... always ready to fight or leave the situation. I am now trying to understand my triggers and this is hard for me. I struggle a lot, and I have really bad days, and other days are not so bad. I am still hypervigilant but I wish it would stop. I am looking forward to helping others and for this to be a safe spot, as I struggle with trust in my life. I wish for all of us to heal... <3
 
Welcome!!! I remember the last thing my first therapist said to me...she said, when she first met me I looked as if I were about to bolt for the door. I recognize the symptoms and they have gotten so much better over time. Keep posting and reaching out, you're doing great!!!

Lionheart
 
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