Lavender22
New Here
Hi everyone. I would say about two months ago, I was diagnosed with CPTSD. I was extremely caught off guard, I was like me? no way. I have dealt with extreme childhood trauma involving violence. I have noticed so many things about myself that I would have never noticed if I had not spoken to a therapist. One main thing I do everywhere and I try to stop is scanning the room, I am extremely hypervigilant to the point that it makes my anxiety startup and it then escalates quickly into a panic attack. In social gatherings, I am non-stop scanning the room, people their personalities, for an unknown threat. When I hear yelling or loud noises I jump and get this nasty feeling in my stomach. I have never known that doing those things was not normal.. always on the lookout in survival mode... always ready to fight or leave the situation. I am now trying to understand my triggers and this is hard for me. I struggle a lot, and I have really bad days, and other days are not so bad. I am still hypervigilant but I wish it would stop. I am looking forward to helping others and for this to be a safe spot, as I struggle with trust in my life. I wish for all of us to heal... <3