Muttly
MyPTSD Pro
I started at a new job,at a veterinary clinic, not that long ago. The second week we were hit by a major snowstorm and were closed most of the week, so not much training happened. And a lot of stuff piled on. Because of missing work, losing my wallet, etc, my finances were super tight. I'd picked up a bit of frost bite in a toe. I got sick. My cat got really sick. I tore my cornea. Because of the lost wallet I almost didn't get into the hearing for my bankruptcy. My body was beat up and exhausted. I was stressed. I didn't do so great at work. Made a lot of stupid mistakes. Because one of the computers is ancient, one of my mistakes crashed it and it wasn't able to be restarted. That was on a day when everything was going wrong at the clinic and I wasn't getting much training and was muddling through a lot on my own. Oh, add to that the person who has mainly been training me hasn't been feeling well the last few weeks so wasn't super helpful in general.
Anyway, the owner of the vet clinic asked if anything was going on at home. Said everyone had said according to everyone I was doing well the first few weeks and then I wasn't doing well. In my brain, this just screams failure.I figure everyone has me pegged as stupid and a problem now and it doesn't matter how good I do, it won't matter. I will always be the screw up. I saw my T today and talked about this and she said that's not true. But honestly, we don't believe her. I mean, they barely know me and I've already ruined a computer. I'm already screwing up. Why would they give me a chance? I've had the stupid/retard label stuck on me in the past. It sticks. Once people decide that about you, all they see is the mistakes you making.
Anyway, the owner of the vet clinic asked if anything was going on at home. Said everyone had said according to everyone I was doing well the first few weeks and then I wasn't doing well. In my brain, this just screams failure.I figure everyone has me pegged as stupid and a problem now and it doesn't matter how good I do, it won't matter. I will always be the screw up. I saw my T today and talked about this and she said that's not true. But honestly, we don't believe her. I mean, they barely know me and I've already ruined a computer. I'm already screwing up. Why would they give me a chance? I've had the stupid/retard label stuck on me in the past. It sticks. Once people decide that about you, all they see is the mistakes you making.