One Step Forward, How Many Steps Back? -Sleep Troubles

R

Re w

So I have started to do reflective journaling and it helps SO much with almost every aspect of my mental health...But also opens up my subconscious (again, kind of the gaol instead of being numb and etc.). The problem is that it has an adverse effect on my sleep. I feel like it brings things up and my brain becomes afraid that it will become too much, even when I am actually processing things quite well.

I will almost fall asleep and then jolt awake just before drifting off as a sort of protection from the nightmares/ dark mental states I am afraid of falling into. If I had more time to process it all then I think I'd let it happen but my new job has me working crazy hours with a 5am wakeup and I just can't afford to collapse into my feelings.

I wish I could just have one extra day off per week to cope but my current position, which is new, at work won't really allow it.

I don't want to stop the journalling though as it helps in literally every other way.

It just feels really defeating to ALMOST make so much progress but....also not.

It's so much effort just to try and stay in the same place, let alone progress.

I suppose this is a rant of frustration more than anything but I don't think anyone else around me really gets it.
 

ApetorsAngel.

Not Active
I’m a journal person to and even though I really enjoyed it and it calms me it also aided me in the dark direction so I had to put it on pause via request from my psychologist.

What times do you like to journal? Before bed? Try moving it to a time earlier in the day.

Also I’m not sure where you live but here where I live employers are required to make accommodations for this type of thing if it is reasonable so one day off to accommodate your mental health seems reasonable.

Anyway, take care and try to stay focused.
 
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arfie

MyPTSD Pro
I don't think anyone else around me really gets it.

i'm not so sure any more. more often i think people get it all too well. we aren't the only ones who can't afford to give in to our feelings. denial has it's place in the grand scheme of things.

except that stuffing my feelings has a way of turning me into a human time bomb and i always seem to go off at the worst available moment. it helps me to vent them, a little at a time, at more appropriate moments. a mini tantrum --deliberately exaggerated-- can provide some comic relief for the people around me while providing cathartic release for all those emotions i've been setting aside and need to vent.
 

ApetorsAngel.

Not Active
i'm not so sure any more. more often i think people get it all too well. we aren't the only ones who can't afford to give in to our feelings. denial has it's place in the grand scheme of things.

except that stuffing my feelings has a way of turning me into a human time bomb and i always seem to go off at the worst available moment. it helps me to vent them, a little at a time, at more appropriate moments. a mini tantrum --deliberately exaggerated-- can provide some comic relief for the people around me while providing cathartic release for all those emotions i've been setting aside and need to vent.
right, we’re not the only ones who have troubling feelings but people like us sometimes have more of a difficult time navigating through them and that’s okay.

Do you see a psychologist by chance ?
 
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ApetorsAngel.

Not Active
Bold is to emphasis things... there is no need to bold every post you make please.
I prefer certain things a certain way, I’m sorry if my presence has caused you discomfort. Have a great weekend

I prefer certain things a certain way, I’m sorry if my presence has caused you discomfort. Have a great weekend
And to get caught up on front when you’re a founder of a community.. my advice, try not to be so stingy. People won’t want to be apart of negativity when mental health forum runs a spectacular community.
 

anthony

Founder
People with trauma have a range of reading, focus, concentration issues. As the owner of the site, I am asking you to please stop it, without further unwarranted remarks.
 

Friday

Moderator
So I have started to do reflective journaling and it helps SO much with almost every aspect of my mental health...But also opens up my subconscious (again, kind of the gaol instead of being numb and etc.). The problem is that it has an adverse effect on my sleep. I feel like it brings things up and my brain becomes afraid that it will become too much, even when I am actually processing things quite well
RIGHT?!?

Balance is an artform.

I don't want to stop the journalling though as it helps in literally every other way.
You’ll probably hate this answer, if you’re anything like me…

…practice.

The journaling helps everything BUT sleep?

Then it’s going to take practice to either find a way of journaling that doesn’t impact sleep, or find new methods to help your sleep. Or both. And the only way to find THOSE ways? Keep doing what you’re doing. In new and different ways. Adding, subtracting, moving around. Until you find your equilibrium.
 
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