Relationship Ouch

FFwife

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Sorry for being ambiguous. But sometimes, when the anger just comes out of no where, I don't know what to do. It's like I want to beg him to just come back, to come out of whatever happened to trigger him. It happens so fast. And sometime, I can handle it, leave him alone, let him come back. And others, it just hurts. Like now.

I should be understanding and not angry.... but I am. I can't help it. I'm trying.
 

FFwife

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Pfft.

You can understand and STILL be angry. And hurt. And insulted. And everything else.

Understanding why something is happening? Doesn’t stop it from happening. Nor make it not hurt, or all better, or okay in any way.
Such wisdom, and it seems so obvious with light of day! I wish it were so easy to see it in the moment!! Would make life quite a bit easier, wouldn't it??
 
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arfie

MyPTSD Pro
there are things in life which the more i understand them, the more angry i get, ESPECIALLY when i have no control over the facts which are making me angry.

anger channeling time. . .
great time to demolish that nasty old couch i've wanted to lose forever.
 

FFwife

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there are things in life which the more i understand them, the more angry i get, ESPECIALLY when i have no control over the facts which are making me angry.

anger channeling time. . .
great time to demolish that nasty old couch i've wanted to lose forever.
Fantastic point. I do find myself weirdly more angry this morning than I expected. I'm angry because I absolutely KNOW this whole situation last night was from his ptsd. And it pisses me off. I feel like it would weirdly be easier if he was just an asshole by choice.

Blargh. Thanks all for your perspective. It was amazingly cathartic to be able to sit in the dark crying and post this. Knowing there were other out there who would get it.

I've been googling ptsd for months now. Never came across this community until recently. Glad I did.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
I feel like it would weirdly be easier if he was just an asshole by choice.

ignorant judgement, even ignorant self-judgement, is far easier than understanding the NFF (No f*cking Fair) deal of PTSD.

repeat: anger channeling time. take it from a child sex trafficking survivor that sometimes being inconsolably pissed off is a sign of sound moral character. there are all too many things in this world that SHOULD piss you off.
 
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