Panic and Anxiety - Feel at a loss of how the maintain any semblance of sanity right now


R.estless W.

My anxiety has been through the roof.
I have CPTSD and also a week in my adult life that caused significantly more/ reinforced that trauma and have had a violent stalker since who has been threatening me with letter he leaves in the lobby of the lodge I manage, and most recently, the passenger seat of my car.

Additionally I’m relatively new to my management position and went from being very good at my job to feeling like I’m playing catch up as I don’t have any previous management experience and actually care about doing it well…We are also crazy understaffed/ someone is on vacation and I’ve been working double-shifts and closing shifts followed by opening shifts…Our current staff have also called out for mental health reasons (not because of the job, just their own personal obstacles they are also having to deal with).

Anyways, I am just overwhelmed and feel triggered about literally everything, find it hard not to take things personally, and keep trying to disconnect because I am scared of drowning in it all. I have been hiking ~15 miles each Sunday I have off with my boyfriend and that helps tremendously but it’s reached a point we’re I dread every other day and begin to panic about the following work day before there is any real reason too. I’m trying activity, breathing excercises, and etc…and they help a bit…but it’s all a lot. I like my job when I don’t hate it irrationally, as I do right now, and if I take time off then the other manager would have to work literally every day that I don’t.

I have tried getting anti-anxiety meds but am always prescribed SSRIs which just make me manic.

I just feel at a loss of how the maintain any semblance of sanity right now and wish I could take a week without putting the other manager in a tough spot ( he is very nice and has no idea how to regulate his own stress in a healthy way and I don’t want to make his situation/ life more stressful ).

Any ideas/ advice?
l have to ask, does your work place know about the threatening messages? Could they do anything for you? With all the stuff you have going on l know it must be difficult to prioritize but your safety is paramount.

As for wanting more effective meds and a week off from your job-well you gotta ask. Whoever is prescribing the meds wants them to help. It is their job to help. And as for your co-manager, you only need to treat him decently. You are not responsible for taking care of his anxiety. He may or may not give you the week off that you need, but it is ultimately his job, not yours, to decide if that would work for him.

Do you have a therapist? It seems that assertive communication and realizing that you also matter are important skills for you to work on.