osiris
MyPTSD Pro
I’m thinking this is a stressor rather than a trigger, but it hit like a wave today.
I spent a good part of the day watching old films, no problem, and then I put one on without thinking about the year it was made. Then as it started suddenly panic hit me, full body sensations, a need to be physically sick and I was thrown back twenty odd years.
What I’m struggling with is that it’s not connected to the time when the actual CA events happened, but when as a teenager I was made to go back to the place where it happened. So I was thrown back to reliving the anxiety and freaked out experience of reliving the original trauma.
Does that even make sense?
I don’t even know how to begin to work through this one. Is freaking at an event that was freaking at an event even a thing? I know it’s probably bound up in how my parents totally failed me at that point (as well as as a kid) - but I’m floored that it came out of nowhere.
I spent a good part of the day watching old films, no problem, and then I put one on without thinking about the year it was made. Then as it started suddenly panic hit me, full body sensations, a need to be physically sick and I was thrown back twenty odd years.
What I’m struggling with is that it’s not connected to the time when the actual CA events happened, but when as a teenager I was made to go back to the place where it happened. So I was thrown back to reliving the anxiety and freaked out experience of reliving the original trauma.
Does that even make sense?
I don’t even know how to begin to work through this one. Is freaking at an event that was freaking at an event even a thing? I know it’s probably bound up in how my parents totally failed me at that point (as well as as a kid) - but I’m floored that it came out of nowhere.