Panic because of thoughts/urges

AJ45

Confident
Has anyone ever panicked because brain screams/urges to do certain things to end all the pain suffering crap and darkness of life? Along with desperately trying to get help and having it not help or even make things worse? Constant thoughts that break you down to point where panic and you start giving into urges by practicing?
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Has anyone ever panicked because brain screams/urges to do certain things to end all the pain suffering crap and darkness of life? Along with desperately trying to get help and having it not help or even make things worse? Constant thoughts that break you down to point where panic and you start giving into urges by practicing?
Yes, I'm going through it right now. Shit isn't it?? What urges do you have and why?
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
During those moments, of ideation (before taking the choice of acting on it) I find it important to ride the wave of onslaught grabbing for the crest. This allows me self recognition of my inner and/or outer pain (respect of one’s being) while using less energy that I will need to regroup all my shattered fragments of self.

The immediate grand slam of one’s mind f*ck will stop eventually. What may linger long after is the aftermath from irrational choices made during the mental torment. So resist from self harm or acting out due to cognitive overload or self criticism on your part of the dance. Hope is paramount: gratitude listing is a positive step to ease out of the chaos. Please sleep, rest, eat and take care of yourself as you wrestle those odds.Tomorrow is a new day.

Your board name comes with confident attached. @AJ45 God Bless you (or a Higher Power that you may recognize) - for that gift to someone. Regardless of the current state of things, you are offering much. So, we are listening - be it for you personally or the state of another that snowballed. No one comes with a manual unfortunately and it is hard. So if you just want to vent... we are here.
 

AJ45

Confident
Yes, I'm going through it right now. Shit isn't it?? What urges do you have and why?
To not be here. Im already a ghost and have been a good part of my life. I dont belong in this world and never have. There are other places in universe to be something else that we as humans cant understand. Hiw about you?
 

AJ45

Confident
During those moments, of ideation (before taking the choice of acting on it) I find it important to ride the wave of onslaught grabbing for the crest. This allows me self recognition of my inner and/or outer pain (respect of one’s being) while using less energy that I will need to regroup all my shattered fragments of self.

The immediate grand slam of one’s mind f*ck will stop eventually. What may linger long after is the aftermath from irrational choices made during the mental torment. So resist from self harm or acting out due to cognitive overload or self criticism on your part of the dance. Hope is paramount: gratitude listing is a positive step to ease out of the chaos. Please sleep, rest, eat and take care of yourself as you wrestle those odds.Tomorrow is a new day.

Your board name comes with confident attached. @AJ45 God Bless you (or a Higher Power that you may recognize) - for that gift to someone. Regardless of the current state of things, you are offering much. So, we are listening - be it for you personally or the state of another that snowballed. No one comes with a manual unfortunately and it is hard. So if you just want to vent... we are here.
Each day is a new day but feels like torture/hell. Whos to say earth is only place and human is only form. Maybe some belong here and some dont. My biological mom didnt seem to belong here she killed her
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
So help me understand a bit more, please. Are you missing your Mom (sorry for your loss), comparing or weighing your depression and pain to that of your Mom (and her gut-wrenching choice) or offering that you have surpassed the point of suicide ideation?

Are you being rhetorical, sharing or do you need a help line?
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the USA 1-800-273-8255.

I wish for you to be safe, feel safe and know you matter.
 

AJ45

Confident
So help me understand a bit more, please. Are you missing your Mom (sorry for your loss), comparing or weighing your depression and pain to that of your Mom (and her gut-wrenching choice) or offering that you have surpassed the point of suicide ideation?

Are you being rhetorical, sharing or do you need a help line?
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the USA 1-800-273-8255.

I wish for you to be safe, feel safe and know you matter.
Will always miss mom. Never really got chance to be with her. And offering i guess. I go between ideation and further. Helpline the people are so sweet and try. so hard. Not sure its helpful enough :/.

Your words are very sweet.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Has anyone ever panicked because brain screams/urges to do certain things to end all the pain suffering crap and darkness of life? Along with desperately trying to get help and having it not help or even make things worse? Constant thoughts that break you down to point where panic and you start giving into urges by practicing?
During holiday times, I have been struggling......it doesn't feel as bad when I climb out of my head, when I get up and do something for or that involves someone else I care about, like call them, send them a card, or make something they'd enjoy.....brownies have been popular lately. Doing something for someone else gives short-term meaning. If I stay in my room, under the covers, and ruminate...........it only get's worse and the negative thoughts spiral. I also make a list of things I plan to get done the next day. However, if you need to go to the hospital, do so and keep safe. Remember, this is just a moment in time.....it will get better so take action to stay safe.
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
it doesn't feel as bad when I climb out of my head, when I get up and do something for or that involves someone else I care about, like call them, send them a card, or make something they'd enjoy.....brownies have been popular lately. Doing something for someone else gives short-term meaning.
This is so important. Do you have people you can connect with @AJ45? Also, are there things you can do physically when you are feeling spun out?
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
To not be here. Im already a ghost and have been a good part of my life. I dont belong in this world and never have. There are other places in universe to be something else that we as humans cant understand. Hiw about you?
I just feel like I'm in pain and not getting any help (apart from people on here). I can't commit suicide because it would be terrible for my family and I've never self harmed.
 
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