Paranoia of relationship

littlestars

Learning
My boyfriend would never hurt me intentionally, I know this, yet I get fear of him hurting me because nearly all men in my life have hurt me badly. (Often in traumatic ways.) I freak out every time his phone gets a notification. I get worried when he’s on his phone and/or has it in the bathroom. The phone is a big trigger for me. It’s how ex’s cheated on me and abused drugs behind my back. I’ve been with my boyfriend for one and a half years. He has given me every reason to believe/trust him. It’s really difficult for me though. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t know how to enjoy myself a lot of times.
 

PTSDisaster

Confident
I'm also having biggggg trust issues with my bf. Lately i've been quite calm about everything, less stressing about things on his phone and im not checking his phone anymore. Also we deleted social media which was a huuuuge relief.
My boyfriend didnt break my trust either, but he's also the first man in my life who's not hurting me mentally or sexually abusing me. This surprises me a lot and I think that's why I'm always ready for something bad to happen, and when it does it will be like 'told you so'.
I'm 2 years together with my boyfriend, still learning how to trust him, but you'll get there:) If you want to know more just ask me:)
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
I can relate even if I don't have had another boyfriend since the last relationship. I hate phones and get super paranoid with any vibrating sound that comes after 9pm. While he didn't use his phone or cheated, he did try to commit suicide often and I would receive charming messages notifying this to me in the middle of the night or in the evenings. He also broke into my personal files several times to look my messages and diaries.

As a result anything of the sort is highly suspect. I have placed 2-factors authentication sign-in anywhere I could and my own computer is so feathered with passwords that it became difficult to navigate for myself. I honestly don't know how I'll deal with it in the future. People reading over my shoulder or simply being next to my devices is something that I already did dislike, now it's just ultra triggering. And no matter who it is. A few days ago I panicked and started to yell at a friend because they tried to take a picture of me.
 

littlestars

Learning
I'm also having biggggg trust issues with my bf. Lately i've been quite calm about everything, less stressing about things on his phone and im not checking his phone anymore. Also we deleted social media which was a huuuuge relief.
My boyfriend didnt break my trust either, but he's also the first man in my life who's not hurting me mentally or sexually abusing me. This surprises me a lot and I think that's why I'm always ready for something bad to happen, and when it does it will be like 'told you so'.
I'm 2 years together with my boyfriend, still learning how to trust him, but you'll get there:) If you want to know more just ask me:)
I have been there too. Thank you for your encouraging words. It gives me hope.
 
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