pathetic legal sentence for abuser

rosey

MyPTSD Pro
I am fuming but also sort of pleased.

The guy who abused me has been sentenced to 8 months suspended, 200 hours of community service and 40 rehabilitation, and 10 years on the sex offenders register. This was for being caught talking to a child and planning to meet for sex. The child unbeknown to him was a decoy of a hunting group. 2 years ago I had the shock of my life seeing the sting on social media.

So I am so glad that this guy is finally being kept an eye on but boy has it triggered me.

I reported him in 2013 for abuse and rape throughout my childhood. The CPS could not take it to court. I am still fighting this decision and at last got the police to dig out the files.

What I am livid about is that he got (ok a pathetic sentence) for disgusting behaviour towards a fake child, but nothing for the 7 years of actually doing these things to me.

Also those people I have told have mainly been really out of line with their responses. such as 'thats great you can put it all behind you know he has something over him' 'why are you still bothered' 'that case has nothing to do with you so why are you upset about it,' 'thats good can you text me in 5minutes once you are over it to help me with..' Will be having a rethink of some friendships over this.

I am struggling with the why is this bad enough for him to get charged but my case it chucked out.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Technically it's the question of being able to constitute receivable proofs. A screenshot or a tape with delineated intentions works, while a victim talking about what happened while the guy just denies it point blank, its more difficult.

It is infuriatingly stupid, but that's how police ended up designing this bait system because otherwise these guys were very difficultly caught. There are far more severe sentencings for demonstrated cases, but they're more difficult to prove and you can count on society families and friends to refuse to see the signs that could have led to gathering sufficient proofs. No one wants to think of this and the harm made to actual children, especially if now they're adults. It's completely legitimate to be infuriated.

I'm sorry this happened to you and also that the response of your people is so callous.
 
I am struggling with the why is this bad enough for him to get charged but my case it chucked out.

^ I can understand your struggles. Especially as you know this man is guilty of abusing you and thus far he has gone unpunished for his offences against you.

To better understand I think you could reach out to the investigating officers or their superiors and ask that they help you to appreciate why other offences this man has committed have proceeded to court and yours have not.

Off the bat, I'd say it comes down to evidence - whether there is enough to prove what he did to you and the burden of proof for the prosecution is always 'beyond reasonable doubt'. This is a impersonal and objective legal standard that is applied to all criminal charges. If that bar cannot be reached or even predicted to be reached then chances are the prosecution will not be launched so somebody must make that decision. That seems to be where your matters are currently at?

I think it is really important to understand this process though and speaking to the officers that are handling your matter might help you. I hope they do spend the time to explain where your matters do not stand up and if there is any chance that might be remedied by further evidence should it become available. Eg DNA evidence only a couple of decades ago was extremely limited and expensive. But now it is a matter or routine and costs are not so restrictive.

In the meantime, receiving counselling and therapy about this may also move your forward and help you.

It's not uncommon for people to respond in this way to the distress you feel. Probably none of them have been in your position and watched an offender escape prosecution for heinous offences again them? But before you throw your friends away because they don't understand and have no life experience of what happened to you and are ignorant of the impact the crimes that were committed against you have had, pause and remember that good friends are hard to find (and keep) and though their responses seem to be inappropriate that they are said out of ignorance rather than a desire to hurt you?
 

rosey

MyPTSD Pro
Technically it's the question of being able to constitute receivable proofs. A screenshot or a tape with delineated intentions works, while a victim talking about what happened while the guy just denies it point blank, its more difficult.

It is infuriatingly stupid, but that's how police ended up designing this bait system because otherwise these guys were very difficultly caught. There are far more severe sentencings for demonstrated cases, but they're more difficult to prove and you can count on society families and friends to refuse to see the signs that could have led to gathering sufficient proofs. No one wants to think of this and the harm made to actual children, especially if now they're adults. It's completely legitimate to be infuriated.

I'm sorry this happened to you and also that the response of your people is so callous.
You are spot on. My word against his.

There were witnesses both our mothers, knew it was happening and lied into their interviews to protect themselves from the firing line. I am currently in the police complaints system, asking why they didn't arrest our parents too as the time between his arrest and their interviews gave time to collaborate to cover themselves and him.
I can totally understand your thoughts and emotions.
This is where our criminal justice system doesn't work.
You're really brave asking the CPS to re look at their decision. That must take a lot of strength to do. I hope you get some answers from that process.
I asked the CPS they said no. So going through the police now, means putting it in as a complaint in their handling. I also wrote to our prime minister, various other ministers, over six months ago and not one reply. It is worrying how uninterested society seems to be about child abuse.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
So going through the police now, means putting it in as a complaint in their handling.
I don’t know how it works in Anglo Saxon law, but on the continent if you want to force an investigation with the police you can ask to make a statement with "constitution of civilian part", that means that if the trial of the dude contains a criminal side, it also contains the civilian side that is to pay you back for any cost you had as a result of his crimes. That can go from a broken bike wheel to hospital bills, to gathering proofs that because of inability to work, you have lost a job of which the income was X, and so and on. I’d recommend you to see a solicitor or to make some research about how police charges and investigates on procedural bases. If you find a procedure where they are forced to do something, then you aren’t just exposed to the personal decision or laziness of the officer you’re dealing with.

Once I got assaulted in a bar and they told me they weren’t going to investigate because it was too complicated to identify the man, while the bar where it happened had a f*cking CCTV. Furious I was to discover years later that had I come back with just a band-aid and disinfectant bill from the pharmacy, it was enough to set off an investigation because the law forced it so!!! It doesn’t matter the amount of the cost, what matters is that there is a cost.

And also it is infuriating to see that the procedure seems to care more for a scratched bag than for your actual experience of assault with violence.

I also wrote to our prime minister, various other ministers, over six months ago and not one reply. It is worrying how uninterested society seems to be about child abuse.
I you want to write, perhaps you should write to the newspapers instead.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
You are spot on. My word against his.

There were witnesses both our mothers, knew it was happening and lied into their interviews to protect themselves from the firing line. I am currently in the police complaints system, asking why they didn't arrest our parents too as the time between his arrest and their interviews gave time to collaborate to cover themselves and him.

I asked the CPS they said no. So going through the police now, means putting it in as a complaint in their handling. I also wrote to our prime minister, various other ministers, over six months ago and not one reply. It is worrying how uninterested society seems to be about child abuse.
I'm sorry CPS said no and the lack of response.
Society just doesn't care. It's so disappointing and upsetting.
I'm impressed with how you are making noise about it.
 

internal

Sponsor
What I am livid about is that he got (ok a pathetic sentence) for disgusting behaviour towards a fake child, but nothing for the 7 years of actually doing these things to me.
i am really sorry that this happened to you rosey. i just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone. some people are talking about proof. but sometimes even if there is proof that isn't proof enough. my father went to prison for possession of csam aggravated sexual assault drugs and illegal firearms.

despite that material being of me he had only one asa charge. the problem is that it was not easily proven that it was me. so he didn't get hit with multiple accounts. most of his charges were not that. he got many years but he should never have gotten out especially with the combination of offenses that they accepted as proof.

to this day i don't understand why it wasn't obvious to the court that he was a dangerous person. who should have gotten life in prison. everybody was so happy and proud to tell me the outcome. but when compared with the totality of his actions it was.... mind numbingly empty. the courts can only act based on the evidence that they can prove is evidence.

and even when they can and it is incontrovertible. when you get lawyers involved it does not always take the obvious outcome.
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
I am soooo sorry for your justifiable outrage and emotional upheaval. It appears to me (accepting that I may be off-base) that you are going through an emotional purging right now with reopened wounds on years of horrendous trauma. Your adult efforts are protecting the rights/safety of your inner-child and trying to champion a previously silenced voice of ‘me too‘! So much courage within your moving forward. And just so you know…me too.

So I wish to add an well meaning suggestion that may go offer like a stink-bomb (or perhaps you already do this) please consider additional support groups on- line, FaceBook, therapy groups that specializes in healing survivors of sexual abuse/violence.

I offer because it took a village to help me face some key issues with respect to my journey and what is really justice to me. I had entangled a few other emotions into that assignment of the word (justice) and it dragged me down a frenzied rabbit hole. What it takes to untether as much as possible from the past predator for sanity, often hinges on much more than a proper court sentence. Cuz darlin’ whatever they gave to him (be it life plus) cannot be enough for what he took from you. It is a whole ball of wax that often needs several friends, partners or spouses perhaps, professionals, as well as other survivors to navigate through this forest. One step at a time while championing yourself : just make sure to nurture and heal as well. Luv and light
 
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8888

MyPTSD Pro
I'm sorry to hear you didn't get the justice you deserve, what a light sentence. I agree with the others that the criminal justice system needs some work. Sending support.
 

Missycat

MyPTSD Pro
Sending support and wishing you luck @rosey . I completely understand the difficulties you face having been through the system - CPS wouldn’t charge in my case and i appealed 3 times ( the maximum) -
They did override a previous decision that my case did not meet any criteria to charge my abuser - this was overridden to not meeting just one criteria. The CPS lawyer also met with myself and victim support to talk through their rationale- it wasnt easy but it gave me a chance to vent my frustration with the process etc. Sadly morals and ‘whats right’ dont come in to it and the law is quite black and white . Good for you for challenging- whilst it was tough for me i still feel it was the right thing to do.
Take care
 
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