Personalization - Cognitive Distortions

Sunshine6775

New Here
I personalize everything, and it's so exhausting. I feel I am the cause of my husband having a bad day, the cause of my son being angry, or anything and everything for that matter. I can't explain the feeling that comes over me in a instant then all I want to do is just leave, but I don't know where to leave too.. I I just end up sitting in a parking lot confused , feeling like crap, that I am a nuisance, and that I make life hard for my family. I am constantly paranoid that I'm going to make some one mad on how I do things from cutting an onion, the way I load the dishwasher, fold the towels, or hang the clothes and so forth... I am sick of tired of feeling like this.. I never realized this is from my childhood and a result or a symptom that comes with my PTSD until a few weeks ago in therapy that I have just started.

Now that I know this information I was able to turn it another direction with the help of my wonderful husband a few days ago as I was heading out to no where because I thought our grandson and me was frustrating him when it had nothing to do with me entirely. My husband hugged me and said he knows I am triggered and to stay home... I stayed home and just tried to calm down but the lasting effects inside my body feels so RAW.. like.. if all the my skin were to be ripped off my body on the outside.. what that looks like is what I feel on the inside.. These feelings and emotions are so tiresome, and I sometimes think that no wonder why people with PTSD end their lives.. I can't imagine the pain they feel and are going through.

I am here to say we are all in this together. Stay strong! Keep your chin up! We are obliviously some tuff as F#C& individuals to be going through this literal HELL! We will need this strength we are developing now to use in the future.

Love,

Lisa 47
 
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