Sufferer Piecing myself back together

I'm 32 years old. I've experienced abuse from as early as I can remember until my late 20's or so. Actively working through my trauma with a therapist but it's so incredibly painful. There's a lot there that's been buried for long. The question "did any adults ever ask you what was wrong or asked you what was happening" destroyed me. Trying my hardest. Numbing myself with alcohol during my personal hours. Triggers from my abuser keep popping up. Just currently struggling. Looking for hope.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Welcome to the forum!

Numbing myself with alcohol during my personal hours.
Have you spoken to your T about this? Apart from medication interactions, and the potential for it to create new mental health issues to deal with, it sounds like your T may need to slow down a bit with the trauma processing (not what any of us ever want to hear, but recovery is a marathon, not a sprint), or help you work on some alternative coping skills that don't have the psychological costs...

There's some great resources around here, regardless of what stage you're at in the recovery process, so glad you found us:)
 
Welcome to the forum!


Have you spoken to your T about this? Apart from medication interactions, and the potential for it to create new mental health issues to deal with, it sounds like your T may need to slow down a bit with the trauma processing (not what any of us ever want to hear, but recovery is a marathon, not a sprint), or help you work on some alternative coping skills that don't have the psychological costs...

There's some great resources around here, regardless of what stage you're at in the recovery process, so glad you found us:)
Yes, I'm very open about things and I'm working my way back down. Sober from opiates for almost 10 years, alcohol is the new numbing agent over the last 2 years. Used to buy 4 nips a day, down to 2 (bad days 3), at least step in the right direction. Supposed to go to my first AA meeting (first meeting in 10 years) with a friend who backed out 2 hours before. Bawled to them last night about recent PTSD triggers and regressions. Essentially begged them for support. My best friend still backed out. That's a hard pill to swallow.

Trauma processing is happening with or without my T. However, this is by far the best T I've had. Struggling on a smaller scale than before. Still feels just as painful as some days prior.

But I'm still happy to be here. Most people can't bother to comprehend or empathize.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Sober from opiates for almost 10 years
Wow! That's huge! Congratulations.
Most people can't bother to comprehend or empathize.
Yeah, I relate a lot to this. It's incredibly isolating at times. But at least here people get it. And it sounds like you have a rock solid relationship with your T, which is absolute gold - can be very hard to find
 
Wow! That's huge! Congratulations.

Yeah, I relate a lot to this. It's incredibly isolating at times. But at least here people get it. And it sounds like you have a rock solid relationship with your T, which is absolute gold - can be very hard to find
That makes me want to cry. It's never been a celebratory thing from me or anyone else in my life. I often neglect to appreciate where I've come from because I focus so much on where I'm struggling now... so thank you for that.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Hi @onecraftywitch, welcome to the site. Im a recovering alcoholic. Haven't drunk or smoked for 14months. Stopping drinking is hard but so worth it. You learn to filter and deal with your thoughts and emotions with greater power and clarity. Sleep is much better also. Good luck! 🙂
 
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