Freida
MyPTSD Pro
So yesterday T almost got me to admit that some of the things that I've lived through are sad and it was ok to let myself get a bit teary over it. But then my internal critic kicked in and basically told me stop my bitching and whining and suck it up. After all - I lived. So why was I feeling sorry for myself?
She tried to explain that a pity party is about wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself but grief is accepting something sad that happened, allowing yourself to feel feelings and then moving on. That whole 5 stages of grief thing.
Nope - not seeing the difference. Yes - some crappy stuff happened. Yes - it had a pretty dramatic effect on my life and others. But. I lived, I moved on, and I became a successful member of society. So what's up with this idea of whining about things from the past? Crying over spilled milk does not put the milk back in the bottle. You just clean it up and move on.
Which brings up the question -- how do you tell the difference between having a pity party and feeling grief about things? When is it ...ok? allowed? acceptable? to feel sorry for yourself over things you can't change?
She tried to explain that a pity party is about wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself but grief is accepting something sad that happened, allowing yourself to feel feelings and then moving on. That whole 5 stages of grief thing.
Nope - not seeing the difference. Yes - some crappy stuff happened. Yes - it had a pretty dramatic effect on my life and others. But. I lived, I moved on, and I became a successful member of society. So what's up with this idea of whining about things from the past? Crying over spilled milk does not put the milk back in the bottle. You just clean it up and move on.
Which brings up the question -- how do you tell the difference between having a pity party and feeling grief about things? When is it ...ok? allowed? acceptable? to feel sorry for yourself over things you can't change?