playing the victim

samanthavad

New Here
I recently had someone get upset with me when I didn't respond to a text message. So I told them about how I let a noise scared me enough to make me throw up. and then had to try and quietly have a panic attack because I didnt wanna wake my parents. this bitch straight up told me I was playing the victim game because I wanted sympathy and would own my mistakes... that mistake shes referring to.. I didn't sleep for shit one night and felt sick so I was in and out of bed... so that means I was doing drugs. Doesnt matter that I've had stomach issues for years, been to several doctors and can prove it. I have had sleeping problems for over 3 years, also can prove and have f*cking PTSD. I over explain everything since my trauma because I have such a hard time understanding things, putting my thoughts into words, finding the right word and feel like I don't make sense....that means im guilty. I've talked to her about all this previously. Doesnt even cross their mind that I over explain EVERYTHING, but don't even notice it when im not defending myself. Straight up told me I look dumb. These effects of my trauma are hard enough for me to live with on a daily basis... but now they are using against me like im some horrible person. I could literally NEVER tell a victim of abuse that they were playing the victim game. Everyone always says "reach out to your support system more" I hate when people feel bad for me... why would I call and tell them everytime I have a panic attack because a family member of my abuser looked at me. didn't speak to me just looked at me or how im much I struggle internally? that just makes them feel bad for me... because they don't know how to help.. because they really can't. no one can.
 
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