Fallen Angel
New Here
I've suffered multiple traumas in my life but nothing compares to the grief and loss that has come with my children being molested by my fiances grandfather. As I described in my introduction post, we have lost so many family members in this process, but this is not the post to go into detail over that. My fiance' has taken the blow the hardest. The children are flourishing in TFCBT, I have a wonderful therapist, and having had multiple traumas in life, I have become more resilient like a green branch on a tree.
My fiance' recently had a conversation with his eldest brother, wherein he mentioned this letter that I have attached below. It's pretty self-explanatory as to why we had to send it to the board of directors of the Child Advocacy Center. Let me just clarify that J's (my fiance') mom is a forensic interviewer but in the same center as where the kids had to go as we live in a different county.
What I need you guys' advice on is:
1. They took down the video and for that I am glad. She still has her job. I never expected her to be fired. I just wanted them to be aware.
2. The brother quoted the letter verbatim and mentioned the boss' name. J is now being harassed over this letter that was supposed to be kept from the employee in question. THAT is an issue. Not only was it given to the employee in question, it was given to FAMILY members.
J now has suicidal ideations due to the harassment and other things happening within his family. The kicker? The brother is a cop.
3. According to the brother, it was Roberta that showed the mom the letter. This center is a bully. How dare them call themselves advocates when they breed continued pain in the victims and their families. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like if I try to approach this again, more repercussions will come but if no action is taken then I am enabling them! I am so torn..... Please help me....
September 15, 2013
To The Honorable , Chairman of the Board, Child Advocacy Center
Cc: Roberta , Executive Director
We trust that the contents of this letter will be shared in its entirety with the rest of the Board members of the Child Advocacy Center of Cumberland County.
We are reporting to the Board information that may be of concern as it is our opinion that you have an employee who represents the Child Advocacy Center yet she does not embody the values or the mission that the Center conveys.
I am N, fiancé of J, who is the son of Jan. I have two daughters, ages 7 and 9. My fiance’, J, has raised these girls as his own for the past five years.
On 8/07/2013, our children revealed to us that they had been molested by Jan’s father, who was at the time a guest in our home. This information was revealed to us by our older daughter around 10PM. J immediately placed a phone call to his mother. He told her to pick her father up immediately. Jan replied by saying that it could not be done until the morning. Jan indicated that Js’ brother, Dylan, would be picking up his grandfather because she could not. We took the kids into our bedroom, locked the door, and I took them out of the house early in the morning, kept them in my office until they could be dropped off at camp, and immediately filed a report at the police station. Dylan took Mr. C to ***, where he stayed in Jan’s home.
Jan responded right away in the beginning. She got in contact with the Sheriff in our town, TEDI BEAR , etc. She assured us that her father would remain cooperative with authorities while he lived under her roof. I stayed in communication with Jan for the following two weeks. I told her about the social worker, the detective on the case, the TEDI BEAR appointment, etc. Everything was fine until the detective wanted to interview Mr. C. We learned he had a secured a lawyer and that he refused to speak with the detective. Jan called back that evening to state that he was flying out to California the Saturday following the scheduled interview with the authorities.
Christina , Jan’s daughter, and J’ sister who is now 34 years old was able to secure a confession on recording when she went to speak with her grandfather and ask him not to leave town. Christina came forward and confirmed that she had been abused by her grandfather for a four-year period when she was about the same age as my daughters. According to Christina, she told her school guidance counselor, at the time, who in turn spoke with Jan about this incident, but to Christina’s knowledge, nothing further was ever done about this. For years, Christina says, she thought she was crazy or was simply dreaming.
Both of us had heard about Christina making allegations against her grandfather but Jan always portrayed Christina as a lying, manipulative child. Jan also mentioned that several girls in Christina’s school came out with the same exact allegations as soon as a “good touch, bad touch” topic was discussed by a guidance counselor in fifth grade. The confession recording Christina obtained on 8/16/2013 revealed a completely different story. Mr. C apologized for what he did to Christina and for what he did to our girls. Christina is now being told by Jan that her abuse was reported to law enforcement officials and an investigation took place during that time period. Christina is now in the process of finding out if such reports were actually made. A search is being made with the County Sheriff’s Department under the address where James Current formerly lived:
Another area of concern: Prior to us allowing Mr. C into our home, Jan spoke to us about a concerning incident regarding our 12-year-old niece Emma who revealed to her that Mr. C had tried to put his hand down her pants. This caused much confusion as Mr. C claimed that he was simply trying to catch her from falling off his lap. This happened in Jan’s home to her own granddaughter, yet she did not report it. She simply told us to take precautions and not leave the children alone with her father (which we did not) or let them sit on his lap. In hindsight, this was a warning and a strong indication that Jan knew that her father was a child molester.
After the confession recording was submitted by Christina to the detective, Mr. C was arrested on the afternoon 8/16/2013 from Jan’s home by police officers. Everyone in the family received a phone call from Jan regarding his arrest. Everyone, but us. Since that time, she has not contacted us or her grandchildren to see how they are doing, to see if they are safe and/or emotionally sound.
In 20-20 hindsight, we realize that everything that only Jan was privy to, was used to aid in her father’s defense; the date of the TEDI BEAR interview; the interview with the detective; the details of the case; the fact that he was even being charged with a crime. On Aug. 8, when James confronted Mr. C with allegations that he abused our daughters he was asked to leave the house. James never mentioned going to the authorities. How did Mr. C know to secure a lawyer? The defense lawyer clearly outlines in court every time there is another bond reduction hearing how involved Jan and her sister in California are in his defense.
As of this writing, Mr. C remains in the *** County Jail. He has been unable to meet bail, which has been reduced from $200,000 to $44,000. At the last bail hearing on 9/5/2013, the defense attorney told the judge that Mr. C’s daughters are arranging for him to be placed in an assisted living facility in Folsom, California.
In addition, on 8/20/2013, Jan also placed a phone call to TEDI BEAR, two days prior to the first bond reduction hearing for Mr. C. **** (who was thankfully on vacation during that time) stated that there should have been no reason for Jan to be calling if our communication system had already been cut off. I think that Jan’s contact with TEDI BEAR at that point was a gross misrepresentation of her position as a child sex abuse advocate.
It is clear that Jan has enabled and protected this sex offender, perhaps for decades. This behavior is unacceptable for anyone, and it is outrageous and beyond inappropriate in a professional who advocates for children who have been sexually abused.
We chose to write this letter and come forward because of our eldest daughter. After we explained (in very vague detail) the reasons why they have not seen their grandmother, she asked us why Jan could have a job fighting for other children when she could not even fight for her own grandkids.
Our daughter now wants to raise money and raise awareness to strengthen family bonds in the face of family sexual abuse for TEDI BEAR because of what happened to her and her sister. I suppose there is always light at the end of the tunnel but darkness should never be brought on by the ones you love most.
During James’ conversation with Roberta, he reiterated what we mentioned to Sharon. We are forthwith revoking our permission for the use of our children’s images (and mine) in your CAC informational video. The children are real victims now and that puts a whole different meaning to the film. The video also features Jan, who we do not believe represents a true child advocate. Roberta told J during their conversation that this video cost your center a lot of money. Our response to that is that: What happened to our children cost them their innocence and Jan has a part in that loss.
What Jan has done has cost my daughters and my fiancé their family. What Jan has done to Christina has resulted in an abused child growing up never having been believed; finally receiving confirmation after all these years only after seeing the terrible past repeat itself. What Jan has done to Emma--, we will never know the effects until further down the road. You all have seen this before.
Roberta told J that sometimes people become irrational during times like these. We understand. All of us, not just the children are in counseling, but this is not about irrationality. This is about action. Roberta asked James: What would you like us to do about this? Our answer? We would like you to do the right thing. Roberta said she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Our belief? When you begin doing the right thing, there is no rock. There is no hard place. There is only right and wrong. There is only justice.
We believed that Jan has no place as a child advocate and that she should be removed from her position immediately.
Thank you for your kind understanding and consideration. If you have any questions and concerns, you may call:
N
J
Also, we would like to thank Sharon for her kind and warm understanding of our situation, along with her exceptional professionalism with dealing with our grief.
Sincerely yours,
N and J
My fiance' recently had a conversation with his eldest brother, wherein he mentioned this letter that I have attached below. It's pretty self-explanatory as to why we had to send it to the board of directors of the Child Advocacy Center. Let me just clarify that J's (my fiance') mom is a forensic interviewer but in the same center as where the kids had to go as we live in a different county.
What I need you guys' advice on is:
1. They took down the video and for that I am glad. She still has her job. I never expected her to be fired. I just wanted them to be aware.
2. The brother quoted the letter verbatim and mentioned the boss' name. J is now being harassed over this letter that was supposed to be kept from the employee in question. THAT is an issue. Not only was it given to the employee in question, it was given to FAMILY members.
J now has suicidal ideations due to the harassment and other things happening within his family. The kicker? The brother is a cop.
3. According to the brother, it was Roberta that showed the mom the letter. This center is a bully. How dare them call themselves advocates when they breed continued pain in the victims and their families. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like if I try to approach this again, more repercussions will come but if no action is taken then I am enabling them! I am so torn..... Please help me....
September 15, 2013
To The Honorable , Chairman of the Board, Child Advocacy Center
Cc: Roberta , Executive Director
We trust that the contents of this letter will be shared in its entirety with the rest of the Board members of the Child Advocacy Center of Cumberland County.
We are reporting to the Board information that may be of concern as it is our opinion that you have an employee who represents the Child Advocacy Center yet she does not embody the values or the mission that the Center conveys.
I am N, fiancé of J, who is the son of Jan. I have two daughters, ages 7 and 9. My fiance’, J, has raised these girls as his own for the past five years.
On 8/07/2013, our children revealed to us that they had been molested by Jan’s father, who was at the time a guest in our home. This information was revealed to us by our older daughter around 10PM. J immediately placed a phone call to his mother. He told her to pick her father up immediately. Jan replied by saying that it could not be done until the morning. Jan indicated that Js’ brother, Dylan, would be picking up his grandfather because she could not. We took the kids into our bedroom, locked the door, and I took them out of the house early in the morning, kept them in my office until they could be dropped off at camp, and immediately filed a report at the police station. Dylan took Mr. C to ***, where he stayed in Jan’s home.
Jan responded right away in the beginning. She got in contact with the Sheriff in our town, TEDI BEAR , etc. She assured us that her father would remain cooperative with authorities while he lived under her roof. I stayed in communication with Jan for the following two weeks. I told her about the social worker, the detective on the case, the TEDI BEAR appointment, etc. Everything was fine until the detective wanted to interview Mr. C. We learned he had a secured a lawyer and that he refused to speak with the detective. Jan called back that evening to state that he was flying out to California the Saturday following the scheduled interview with the authorities.
Christina , Jan’s daughter, and J’ sister who is now 34 years old was able to secure a confession on recording when she went to speak with her grandfather and ask him not to leave town. Christina came forward and confirmed that she had been abused by her grandfather for a four-year period when she was about the same age as my daughters. According to Christina, she told her school guidance counselor, at the time, who in turn spoke with Jan about this incident, but to Christina’s knowledge, nothing further was ever done about this. For years, Christina says, she thought she was crazy or was simply dreaming.
Both of us had heard about Christina making allegations against her grandfather but Jan always portrayed Christina as a lying, manipulative child. Jan also mentioned that several girls in Christina’s school came out with the same exact allegations as soon as a “good touch, bad touch” topic was discussed by a guidance counselor in fifth grade. The confession recording Christina obtained on 8/16/2013 revealed a completely different story. Mr. C apologized for what he did to Christina and for what he did to our girls. Christina is now being told by Jan that her abuse was reported to law enforcement officials and an investigation took place during that time period. Christina is now in the process of finding out if such reports were actually made. A search is being made with the County Sheriff’s Department under the address where James Current formerly lived:
Another area of concern: Prior to us allowing Mr. C into our home, Jan spoke to us about a concerning incident regarding our 12-year-old niece Emma who revealed to her that Mr. C had tried to put his hand down her pants. This caused much confusion as Mr. C claimed that he was simply trying to catch her from falling off his lap. This happened in Jan’s home to her own granddaughter, yet she did not report it. She simply told us to take precautions and not leave the children alone with her father (which we did not) or let them sit on his lap. In hindsight, this was a warning and a strong indication that Jan knew that her father was a child molester.
After the confession recording was submitted by Christina to the detective, Mr. C was arrested on the afternoon 8/16/2013 from Jan’s home by police officers. Everyone in the family received a phone call from Jan regarding his arrest. Everyone, but us. Since that time, she has not contacted us or her grandchildren to see how they are doing, to see if they are safe and/or emotionally sound.
In 20-20 hindsight, we realize that everything that only Jan was privy to, was used to aid in her father’s defense; the date of the TEDI BEAR interview; the interview with the detective; the details of the case; the fact that he was even being charged with a crime. On Aug. 8, when James confronted Mr. C with allegations that he abused our daughters he was asked to leave the house. James never mentioned going to the authorities. How did Mr. C know to secure a lawyer? The defense lawyer clearly outlines in court every time there is another bond reduction hearing how involved Jan and her sister in California are in his defense.
As of this writing, Mr. C remains in the *** County Jail. He has been unable to meet bail, which has been reduced from $200,000 to $44,000. At the last bail hearing on 9/5/2013, the defense attorney told the judge that Mr. C’s daughters are arranging for him to be placed in an assisted living facility in Folsom, California.
In addition, on 8/20/2013, Jan also placed a phone call to TEDI BEAR, two days prior to the first bond reduction hearing for Mr. C. **** (who was thankfully on vacation during that time) stated that there should have been no reason for Jan to be calling if our communication system had already been cut off. I think that Jan’s contact with TEDI BEAR at that point was a gross misrepresentation of her position as a child sex abuse advocate.
It is clear that Jan has enabled and protected this sex offender, perhaps for decades. This behavior is unacceptable for anyone, and it is outrageous and beyond inappropriate in a professional who advocates for children who have been sexually abused.
We chose to write this letter and come forward because of our eldest daughter. After we explained (in very vague detail) the reasons why they have not seen their grandmother, she asked us why Jan could have a job fighting for other children when she could not even fight for her own grandkids.
Our daughter now wants to raise money and raise awareness to strengthen family bonds in the face of family sexual abuse for TEDI BEAR because of what happened to her and her sister. I suppose there is always light at the end of the tunnel but darkness should never be brought on by the ones you love most.
During James’ conversation with Roberta, he reiterated what we mentioned to Sharon. We are forthwith revoking our permission for the use of our children’s images (and mine) in your CAC informational video. The children are real victims now and that puts a whole different meaning to the film. The video also features Jan, who we do not believe represents a true child advocate. Roberta told J during their conversation that this video cost your center a lot of money. Our response to that is that: What happened to our children cost them their innocence and Jan has a part in that loss.
What Jan has done has cost my daughters and my fiancé their family. What Jan has done to Christina has resulted in an abused child growing up never having been believed; finally receiving confirmation after all these years only after seeing the terrible past repeat itself. What Jan has done to Emma--, we will never know the effects until further down the road. You all have seen this before.
Roberta told J that sometimes people become irrational during times like these. We understand. All of us, not just the children are in counseling, but this is not about irrationality. This is about action. Roberta asked James: What would you like us to do about this? Our answer? We would like you to do the right thing. Roberta said she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Our belief? When you begin doing the right thing, there is no rock. There is no hard place. There is only right and wrong. There is only justice.
We believed that Jan has no place as a child advocate and that she should be removed from her position immediately.
Thank you for your kind understanding and consideration. If you have any questions and concerns, you may call:
N
J
Also, we would like to thank Sharon for her kind and warm understanding of our situation, along with her exceptional professionalism with dealing with our grief.
Sincerely yours,
N and J
