Please help!!! Spiralling after relationship ending

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jewel

Confident
I haven’t been on in a few years. I managed quite well until I started a relationship. Things have been like a horrible rollercoaster. We recently ended. My self worth is plummeting and I feel I am spiraling downward quickly.
the relationship challenged me a lot. It statrted fast and ended abruptly. We were engaged within a month. Soon after it felt restrictive and like he wanted to fix me.
I stayed for 18 months and was able to use my skills and assert myself many times. But when ever I would bring up an issue he personalizes it. Which effectively shut me down.
If he did t get his was he pouted and made it known. We ended without even a goodbye and I am feeling horrible.
I feel like numbing my pain. I feel alone. I feel anxious and abandoned by him.
I need help.
 

bellbird

Sponsor
Hey, really glad you reached out.

It's really great that you left. It was a big step, a very scary one, but you did what was best for you.

It's understandable that you are feeling so anxious and alone right now, but you should know that you haven't done anything wrong.

What grounding techniques have you been able to access in the past?

I wonder if you could try some of those instead of going straight to numbing?
Sitting with you.
 

jewel

Confident
Hi Rani-
I have been breathing and doing yoga. Last night was scary. Today is better. It seems to come in waves.

The relationship was so very confusing. He is so loving and giving. But also so very emotionally manipulative in a passive aggressive way. Whenever I say how I feel he says oh you are saying that because you don’t like x about me. It has the effect of cutting my voice off. I have spoken to him abt it but he doesn’t see it. I asked him to go to therapy and he won’t.
now we are over and so much of my past healing has been triggered.
 

Mytime

MyPTSD Pro
Keep up with your breathing and yoga, it’s great self care. You’ve been in a manipulative relationship and the waves are normal. It’s understandable to feel scared, keep telling yourself, you were ok before the relationship and you’ll be just fine without it. Keep your focus on yourself, acknowledge the freedom you now have emotionally.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
Stay single for awhile so that you can heal?

Also, there’s no relationship finish line. Why the rush to get engaged, to get married? The first few years should be about getting to know someone and figuring out if you really want to be with them for life. Already deciding to get engaged pretty much stops this whole thought process and means you’ll put up with more BS than you should.
 
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