Undiagnosed Please see me

A

Anger

Someone very dear to me lied about mental health and that his was "worse" than my mental health issues because he couldn't function but thought I could despite me literally killing myself slowly trying to live up to expectations. This started a series of me living in hypervigilance, to the point of physical abuse out of anger due to fear of the lie or that he would fall back. I forced him to become like me and a workaholic. I never even considered ptsd for me until he brought it up and I researched it and realized that a lot of my feelings, intrusive thoughts, lack of control in my emotions and more made me realize that ptsd is very likely. It pisses me off that he was the one to get help when I struggled with this for almost a year and I just wish that someone would acknowledge my issues because now my anxiety is so much worse, I have trouble enjoying things I enjoyed and oftentimes am on edge. I really love this person, I just can't seem to get over the lie or the fear that I will lash out again.
 
Trust - betrayal - is a HUGE issue for me. If you love him and you plan to stay together, trust and honesty are essential. You can't have a stable, secure relationship without a strong foundation to build it on. Communication is absolutely necessary. Talk about how his lie hurt you..how it affected you. Discuss that you need help. Let him know that going forward you expect that you both will be truthful with each other. It is in the best interest of both of you.
Welcome! 💜
 
Welcome to the forum! It is possible to get better and feel better...it will take working on your issues but I can say with confidence that it can be done!

There is a wealth of information and resources here that have helped me and many others.

I hope you are helped as much as I have been!
 
Someone very dear to me lied about mental health and that his was "worse" than my mental health issues because he couldn't function but thought I could despite me literally killing myself slowly trying to live up to expectations. This started a series of me living in hypervigilance, to the point of physical abuse out of anger due to fear of the lie or that he would fall back. I forced him to become like me and a workaholic. I never even considered ptsd for me until he brought it up and I researched it and realized that a lot of my feelings, intrusive thoughts, lack of control in my emotions and more made me realize that ptsd is very likely. It pisses me off that he was the one to get help when I struggled with this for almost a year and I just wish that someone would acknowledge my issues because now my anxiety is so much worse, I have trouble enjoying things I enjoyed and oftentimes am on edge. I really love this person, I just can't seem to get over the lie or the fear that I will lash out again.

It's never a contest. Really does anyone want to "win" worst mental health award?

There is no scale. Some of us are less functional. But it's very possible to be fully functional, and essentially dead inside. I'm one of those. But the price of that functionality is that I've never experienced love or grief, and rarely joy or anger. Most of the time joy is just "strong contentment" and anger is "pissed off" rage? Not really. Parents died? Slightly sad but mostly relief. Dog died. greater sadness, but was looking for a new dog the next day.

Most strong emotions I experience only intellectually. I've never fallen in love. I've never been in a fight.
 
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