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Police Officer with PTSD

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Garry, Nov 21, 2007.

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  1. Garry

    Garry New Member

    Hello everyone. I found this site while researching what has happened to me. I was diagnosed with PTSD and major depression in 2006 after a break down and long psychiatric hospitalization. My incident took place on the job ten years ago when I tried to arrest an individual for the attempted murder of two police officers the previous day. The individual was armed with a 12 ga pump and .308 semi rifle and drew down on me. A short fire fight ensued resulting in the individual being shot through the chest by me. I remember Tache psych taking hold of me big time. I remember all the blood and man there was alot of it pumping out of him. I don't remember the gun shots. I didn't know about PTSD at the time but I had it right away. Hallucinations, flash backs, screaming night mares, panic attacks, avoidance behaviour all of it and throw in suicidal ideation. I was afraid of talking back then as I was sure I would lose my badge so I lived with it for ten years. It was the homicidal thoughts about my family that started along with the depression that sent me looking for help. I've been off the road over a year now on compensation, going to therapy and no end in sight. Its currently costing me an 18 year marriage which is going down the tubes as I've cut her off from me over the years. I plan on spending some time in these threads trying to mend myself.
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  3. txmomof3

    txmomof3 Active Member

    Welcome to the forum. Deciding to mend yourself when you have PTSD can be a very difficult point to come to, so I am very glad you are here and ready to do so. I have only been on these boards for a few days, but am finding that being able to freely talk about PTSD with people who understand is definately going to help with my recovery.
  4. cheezehed

    cheezehed New Member

    Garry I can totally understand your aprehension of telling your employer about this. In my job you lose your ability to work (understandibly) with any mental problems or psycotherapy drugs. Heck we couldn't even take most over the counter cold medicines.

    Thank you for posting, it does help others to know we're not alone.
  5. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Welcome to the forum......

    I hope that in the effort to "mend" yourself, that possibly your marriage can be mended too if you would like. 18 yrs is a long time....

    There is hope...
  6. hollyberry

    hollyberry Active Member

    welcome to the forum
  7. vst

    vst Active Member

    Welcome to the forum.

  8. mouse

    mouse Well-Known Member

    Welcome Garry take time here feel safe and mend as best you can, the best advice I could give you is don't be ashamed to ask for help and support everyone here is dealing and learning to deal with PTSD
  9. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Good on you Garry for coming on here. It takes courage for sure. I never thought it would happen to me.

    It's worth fighting for. Keep fighting. Keep pushing.
  10. nie

    nie Wishing for wings to fly. Premium Member Donated

    Welcome to the forum Garry
  11. anthony

    anthony Donate To Keep MyPTSD Founder

    Hi Garry, welcome to the forum. Plenty of police officers here.... jump in and don't feel bad venting your traumatic experiences.
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