Rose White
VIP Member
Not sure where to post this.
First off, most of me, and sometimes all of me, is STRONGLY opposed to this concept. A small part of me recently thought I *ought* to explore this and that it might be related to the forgiveness concept and might be something helpful for *me*.
I realize that the title could be interpreted in various ways in this sub-forum. And that’s fine. I don’t mind exploring various avenues of this with you.
What does it mean for me?
In my recovery I didn’t speak of my dad for a long time. If I had a dream about him I was terrified or screaming at him. The only words I had about him were brief descriptions of what he did and why he wasn’t in my life anymore.
Then I started having neutral dreams about him and the ability to talk about him in a neutral way, like mentioning that I had a dad, where he was from, stuff like that.
Now if people are talking about their parents I’m able to mention things about his hobbies or idiosyncratic ways.
I listen to a podcast called Lex Fridman, and he was interviewing someone who left Scientology and the guy was all negative about David Miscavige and Lex challenged him to consider positives about the Scientology leader as a way to grow stronger in himself.
And a good writer will show how an antagonist has good intentions behind their actions. I admire writers, I see it as a good practice for life.
I understand that whether or not you have positive thoughts toward an abuser depends a lot on where you are at in your recovery. You might have lots of positive thoughts about them that are actually holding you back from recovering yourself. Or you might have no positive thoughts about them as a way to claim your own agency and authority, especially if you are in the act of separation from them.
I’m treading lightly with this in my own life, but starting to touch the edges of it, and I’m curious about it in your life if you’d like to share.
First off, most of me, and sometimes all of me, is STRONGLY opposed to this concept. A small part of me recently thought I *ought* to explore this and that it might be related to the forgiveness concept and might be something helpful for *me*.
I realize that the title could be interpreted in various ways in this sub-forum. And that’s fine. I don’t mind exploring various avenues of this with you.
What does it mean for me?
In my recovery I didn’t speak of my dad for a long time. If I had a dream about him I was terrified or screaming at him. The only words I had about him were brief descriptions of what he did and why he wasn’t in my life anymore.
Then I started having neutral dreams about him and the ability to talk about him in a neutral way, like mentioning that I had a dad, where he was from, stuff like that.
Now if people are talking about their parents I’m able to mention things about his hobbies or idiosyncratic ways.
I listen to a podcast called Lex Fridman, and he was interviewing someone who left Scientology and the guy was all negative about David Miscavige and Lex challenged him to consider positives about the Scientology leader as a way to grow stronger in himself.
And a good writer will show how an antagonist has good intentions behind their actions. I admire writers, I see it as a good practice for life.
I understand that whether or not you have positive thoughts toward an abuser depends a lot on where you are at in your recovery. You might have lots of positive thoughts about them that are actually holding you back from recovering yourself. Or you might have no positive thoughts about them as a way to claim your own agency and authority, especially if you are in the act of separation from them.
I’m treading lightly with this in my own life, but starting to touch the edges of it, and I’m curious about it in your life if you’d like to share.