Sexual Assault Preparing for Pregnancy after Sexual Assault

AliciaEff

Confident
Ever since I was a kid I knew that I loved children. As I became a teenager the question in my mind was "do I want a job that dedicates my life to kids, like running an orphanage, or do I want to focus on raising my own kids?" In my early 20s I decided that I wanted to raise my own kids, but I knew that I would prefer adoption over pregnancy and one of the major reasons is that I have trouble feeling comfortable with doctors needing to touch my sexual organs because of my history of sexual abuse.

Well I met my husband a few years ago and he asked me if I would be willing to try for at least one kid naturally before we look into adoption. After some thought I realized that if I got pregnant accidentally I would put the effort in to keep it and push through whatever fears I had, so if I would be fine with a pregnancy, and my husband was such a great support for me (he has been since day 1), then I would be able to manage an intentional pregnancy.

We're coming close to trying to conceive and we decided on a midwife because I would be able to build up a rapport with them and be pretty much guaranteed that I knew the person delivering my baby. If there were any complications and an OB needs to take over, the midwife still sticks around for other support. Everything is great, we're about one month away from trying now and then this happens.

My friends are doing that new trend of "share the tagline of the box office hit on your birthday." Well I looked mine up and it is about a woman being sexually assualted by her OB and stalked by the OB's wife because she reported the assault. I wouldn't say it set me back at all. I'm still ready to start the process and I still feel confident in my husband and our decision to look for a midwife, but ever since I read that plotline last night I've been a bit more anxious. It was right before I was trying to sleep and it made me uncomfortable. I'm still having trouble now when I think about the movie. It was just really bad timing for me to learn about this movie, I hadn't heard of it before.
 
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