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Pressure at Christmas Time

Discussion in 'Social' started by Nam, Dec 17, 2006.

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  1. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

    Christmas should be fun. Lots of food, gifts, and family conversation. Maybe even a game or two...It should even be relaxing! But, lordy, do I feel the pressure.

    In my family, there is quite a bit of pressure to bring good gifts to the ones we love. Too expensive, they make me feel foolish. Homemade and cheap, makes me feel...well, cheap and maybe even a bit of a show off? I have the hardest time with my parents. They are very difficult to buy for. My hubs and I are on a strict budget so we are trying not to go back into credit debt right as we finally got it to zero with our Home Eq. Loan. This leaves about zero dollars to spend...talking about pressure. If I had my way, I'd just put it all on credit right now and worry about the balance later... But hubs says NO. Then why am I in charge of gifts?

    So I thought I'd paint some paintings for some of the people on my list...and well, the pressure isn't good for my psyche, because all my paintings look like gloom and depression. I may end up empty handed..

    We are also having one of the parties here. So much to do, and not enough time, nor energy.

    I don't know the purpose of this thread except that I'm stressed and needed to vent. Thanks folks.
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  3. nov_silence

    nov_silence Well-Known Member

    This is why I hate the holidays...! All the *ucking pressure. I feel like an orphan who still has to meet these expectations. And honestly, I don't want anything from anyone... it just feels hollow. My mother's "gift: won't be ready for christmas, she will get it after. I am painting her something to visually express how I feel about her. Money is really tight and Scott (my DH) and I have to drive to Mississippi (about 17 hours south and I have to take off of work to go which means less money, I even thought of staying in Maryland for the holidays but that wouldn't go over well) and buy presents for his parents and sister. Thankfully, Scott got gift certificates from his students and we were able to buy gifts with that. Just it's the giving is not sincere. It's a social expectation, a hoop I have to jump through every year. Then I can wipe my sweaty brow and "fweh! Made it through another gift-expected holiday." Nothing like family and the holidays. Pure shit.
  4. reallydown

    reallydown I'm a VIP

    Sure makes me glad that I only ahve 3 people to shop for...even that can be tough...but at least they have no great expectations...
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    You know taking the time out to "layer" ingredients for chocolate chip cookies in a clear jar toped with a piece of plaid cloth tied with a ribbon and is not showing off. And is precious and from the heart.

    Me, everyone I told is SOL this year so don't even ask!!! I don't like it either.
  6. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

    One of my stressors. Seen tooooooo much bad stuff during the holidays. Can't wait till its over.
  7. piglet

    piglet Well-Known Member

    I'm off to visit the family for Christmas. I promised myself I wouldn't this year, but my neive is 4, which is a great age for little kids at Christmas and I want to share it with her. On top of that, is the guilt trip my mother has put me on (yes, Anthony, I KNOW it's me who chooses to feel guilty).

    I am SO not in a Christmas mood, and I'm afraid I have to echo those who can't wait for it to be over.
  8. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    I'm SOOOO glad I'm not the only one to feel the pressures at the holidays and wish them over! Last weekend I looked at my oldest and said, 'Get the tree and the ornaments out of the closet or the damn thing isn't going up this year.' Personally, I could have cared less. I think we got the tree up and decorated in record time...just to get it done. *sigh* This used to be my favorite time of the year, too.

    I even begged off of having my hubby's family over for Christmas dinner/gifts. It was our turn. My SIL is taking over for me.

    I'm bound and determined to make this as stress-free as I possibly can. So far I'm about half successful. LOL
  9. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    errr... I threw out the tree this year. I could not help it. I keep trying not to cuss at the carols they slip in on the radio... Told hubs I may want to clean up my mouth before I get to the home I rented.... The Pastor's home on church property. Working on it!
  10. nugget

    nugget Well-Known Member

    Nam im always looking for a bit of doom and gloom send one of your paintings over to me id be proud to hang it in our house. Some days D&G is a big leap forward for me.

    PS: I would pay for it and the freight!
    of course
  11. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member


    Xmas= lots of family = not a happy camper

    Got to love it. Gpt a wopper tention headache atm. Still can't sleep *grrs*
  12. jade

    jade Active Member

    Christmas is hard for my family also. My hubs. father left him and his mom for another woman at the age of 10. To say that he hates x-mas is not an understatement. Because money is tight for everyone we have decided that we are buying or giving gifts only to the kids this year. Luckily everyone understands. Besides its not about the gifts it's about spending time with the ones we love.

    I know that my son is disappointed this year because we have no snow. Usually by now we have enough for the kids to at least go sliding. Right now we seem as if spring is here instead of winter. Here in Vermont we have 5 seasons spring, summer, fall, winter, and mud. Mud season hits between winter and spring due to the frost coming out of the ground. We are in a mud season now. Hopefully for Ethans sake we have some snoe by the time winter break is over. He is taking skiing through the school and it is supposed to start after winter break. I'll keep my fingers crossed for him.
  13. erryyn

    erryyn Member

    Ever since I was seventeen, I've moved so much that my father and brother got used, I think, to me not being around, especially for holidays. Last year, for the first time in maybe ten years, I actually spent Christmas with my father and my brother's family. I have been asked if I am going to do it again this year, since I so shockingly broke tradition by actually showing up once. Honestly, I'll probably give it another ten - already told them I won't be there.

    I can honestly say I don't even want to be around friends during the holidays (which they don't understand - so I wind up coming off rude, to someone, every year). So, I don't do presents or any of the rest of it. As long as people leave me alone, that's exactly what I want for Christmas.

    I had a co-worker friend, years ago, who asked me to work one night around the holidays. I paused and said, "I don't know... my family was planning on doing Christmas stuff that night." She smiled and asked, "Is that a yes?"

    "Yes, ma'am!"
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