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Pretending To Be Ok

  • Thread starter Deleted member 29920
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Deleted member 29920

I wondered if others do this. Pretend to be ok when you're actually not, at all? I've done it all my life (probably because of my abuser). Well I'm done pretending. No more forced smiles, no more pretending, that's it. Until I'm better, I will not pretend to be ok.

I'm not ok.
 
I've always been so dysfunctional that my periods of self-sufficiency have been brief. I am usually dependent on others. Being dependent on others realistically means that I have to avoid upsetting them, which stifles genuine expression to a great extent. I'm not sure how easy or difficult it would be to express genuinely if I were independent because I haven't had much experience.
 
There are (regularly) times when I'm glad I can fake it. Letting people in, letting them know how you really are sounds just super:playful: But there are times when I can't bear the thought of one more person asking me how I am - the caring weighs me down & it's so much hard work allowing yourself to be real with people. Counter-intuitive trauma-brain Exhibit A!!
 
I used to fake it all of the time and unaware that I was doing this before I got some useful information about it. I went through a period where I did not pretend and I suffered quite a bit.

Our societies seem to demand this of us.

I fake it with people who I do not trust with my information. I can be friends with normal people and not go into any negative things going on in my life. I never knew how to be surface with others and I had such a hard time while I struggled so.

I admire your commitment to be authentic and I wish you well on your way each day.

With people here I can be myself more. But I still have boundaries that I had to learn to make. It is all a process of learning and growing as I see it.

I am not as miserable to be around anymore with strangers. Yet I am cautious with who I really am with people. I hope that this makes sense.
 
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