Pretty lost

Weezley

Confident
The bottom of my mental health has dropped out this week and I'm feeling pretty lost. I seen my counselor today. I was feeling alot of anxioty and on edge when I went. Not long into the session I just broke down. I thought being there would be better because maybe he would be able to see what I'm going threw. He just kept saying I was thinking irrationally and I needed to think more rationally. I couldn't get him to understand I was having a hard time even to think normally yet alone rationally. He was like a broken record and I just started to feel even worse. To top it all off he keeps pushing aa on me like it's the end all be all that's going to fix me. I finally snapped and told him I'm not going it's not for me. Some people need it. I completely understand that. I tried it when I first got sober. I just do better on my own. It kinda seemed like since it all worked for him shoe horning everyone threw this same bullshit is going to work for everyone else. To say the least I left there feeling more miserable and lost. I came home and was just ready to give up. I layed in bed and cried my self to sleep. I slept for 6 hours. Now that I'm up I've been having waves of anxioty and feeling depression settling in even further. So I decided the best thing I could do instead of going back to sleep is to come on here. With all that being said I just don't know where to go next or what to do. I do better for a little bit in life and just wind up back in this miserable state. Is this a normal thing with recovery of ptsd or am I just missing something?
 

Weezley

Confident
As I was sitting here I decided to do some digging on the internet about ptsd. I found a few videos that actually clicked in my brain. I think I was being given some good advice just not given all the information or just wasn't understanding fully. I never realized how much damage I was doing by avoiding alot of things. It never clicked in my brain till now. I think instead of solely looking to my counselor for guidance I need to do my own research and find a better way of learning about ptsd and the steps I need to take to get better.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
@Weezley - sounds like your counselor is letting you down on a few fronts. You can try asking them to just back up, and talk you through the concepts that they're using (about 'irrational' thinking, etc.) - when we're first learning all this different mental health vocabulary, it's pretty common to need to apply the concepts to things that are NOT the deeper/more difficult issues we're struggling with. It's just easier to learn this stuff by practicing on examples from other people's lives, and then examples from our own experience that aren't extremely difficult, triggering, or upsetting.

And it takes awhile to get familiar with how our thoughts interact with our feelings, and how we can work with them.
I never realized how much damage I was doing by avoiding alot of things. It never clicked in my brain till now.
This is great, really great. When you find something that starts making sense, that's a big deal. Good on you for going out and finding it. Hopefully, that'll also help you find even more resources.

There are a number of different ways to talk about symptoms, managing them, what PTSD even is....if it'd be helpful, you can share those resources here, and other members might be able to guide you to more stuff that'll connect to whatever you've already found (if that makes sense).
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
It's not fair that your counsellor keeps pushing AA on you. I'm an alcoholic and stopped drinking 10 months ago. I did that on my own. I used to go to AA and it was a horrible experience.
 
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