FauxLiz
Sponsor
this pandemic is really getting to me. I am not dealing with the at home isolation that many are as I am an "essential" worker and my organization has been struggling to implement remote work capabilities in the midst of all of these crazy times. I have been working 60-80 hours a week 6-7 days a week and I am finding that I am slipping not into what I would call actively suicidal but just this constant wish that I would contract this horrid disease and be able to just let go and not feel guilty.
Logically I know this is not a good way to be thinking but I just don't know how to beat these thoughts back. I am not doing anything stupid to intentionally put myself or anyone else in harms way, I am following all the proper protocols and this isn't the first time I have wished for something bigger than me to do what I don't seem to have the strength, will, whatever to carry through with but never has it seemed so close and yet so impossible.
Logically I know this is not a good way to be thinking but I just don't know how to beat these thoughts back. I am not doing anything stupid to intentionally put myself or anyone else in harms way, I am following all the proper protocols and this isn't the first time I have wished for something bigger than me to do what I don't seem to have the strength, will, whatever to carry through with but never has it seemed so close and yet so impossible.