coraxxx
Policy Enforcement
Heya. I don’t have a better title but here it goes.
I’m in the process of discussing and feedbacking how things happened with my ex, who caused me great harm with domestic violence and emotional abuse.
We have been apart since a year now and a cycle of conversations about how each party has perceived things is currently happening.
I could explain exactly how I felt and how it affects me still nowadays, as well as to stop fearing his response since this process is happening remotely. It feels right and in control.
We don’t have a third party to mediate the discussions but I feel like it’s been important for us to be able to express our distress, our fears and current feelings towards the situation. And for me, especially to be seen in how much I’m hurting outside of his own view. That happened.
It’s hard though. Certain answers just sting. I can feel it’s healing and firm boundaries have been defined. So far it’s okay.
Our aim is to be able to express ourselves to each other without fearing a backlash in any sense, and restore a decent amount of trust. Not in everything, but at least to remove the fear from the equation. A distant friendship seems possible to attain but I wouldn’t bet on anything specific, just going through this process. In a certain sense, I feel like we can be very intimate with our abusers because understanding them has been crucial for our survival. Huge trauma bonding. And the aim is to remove the trauma bonding, so we cannot know in which form the relationship might or might not result, actually it’s becoming quite secondary to the process.
Something that worries me though is that others might judge or not understand this process.
Did anyone here go through something similar? What is your experience? What has gone well and what did go wrong?
Thank you and peace upon all.
I’m in the process of discussing and feedbacking how things happened with my ex, who caused me great harm with domestic violence and emotional abuse.
We have been apart since a year now and a cycle of conversations about how each party has perceived things is currently happening.
I could explain exactly how I felt and how it affects me still nowadays, as well as to stop fearing his response since this process is happening remotely. It feels right and in control.
We don’t have a third party to mediate the discussions but I feel like it’s been important for us to be able to express our distress, our fears and current feelings towards the situation. And for me, especially to be seen in how much I’m hurting outside of his own view. That happened.
It’s hard though. Certain answers just sting. I can feel it’s healing and firm boundaries have been defined. So far it’s okay.
Our aim is to be able to express ourselves to each other without fearing a backlash in any sense, and restore a decent amount of trust. Not in everything, but at least to remove the fear from the equation. A distant friendship seems possible to attain but I wouldn’t bet on anything specific, just going through this process. In a certain sense, I feel like we can be very intimate with our abusers because understanding them has been crucial for our survival. Huge trauma bonding. And the aim is to remove the trauma bonding, so we cannot know in which form the relationship might or might not result, actually it’s becoming quite secondary to the process.
Something that worries me though is that others might judge or not understand this process.
Did anyone here go through something similar? What is your experience? What has gone well and what did go wrong?
Thank you and peace upon all.