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BPD Progress with one issue only to make others worse

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Punky143

MyPTSD Pro
My T and I have, lets say "amped" up treatment by adding an additional day a week and requests the both of us work harder. Now, with BPD and other diagnoses, the hard wired myths seem to stirring around. And of course any of my mean parts resist any change. It appears if I try and work on something my T and I talk about, then other things surface, like eating d/o and insomnia, etc. From what I try to recall, this pattern of behavior has taken place all my life and it's a horrible loop to get in but it's also a familiar "safe" feeling. My head constantly spins and never shuts down unless a lot of meds are taken. It's quite honestly: hell. I am basically fighting for my life right now and doing so alone. Because no one would understand and I don't blame them.
 
I've seen her going on 10 years so she knows how I am but I will bring it up next week. I guess it's par for the course since I'm trying to undue a system that I've lived with my entire life so it makes sense then right?
 
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